#i’ve been watching way too much wallace + gromit

[giddlygoat]

wallace’s constant state of t-rex arms is so inspired tbh

[carriagelamp]

Art of Aardman

I found myself a cheap copy of the Shaun the Sheep movie, so I was rewatching a bunch of Aardman films earlier this month and decided to hunt down some books too. For anyone that doesn’t know, Aardman is a British stop-motion studio that does fantastic work like Wallace and Gromit, Shaun the Sheep, Chicken Run, Early Man… tons of cool stuff. They’re always quirky and funny and warm-hearted. This was just a very nice art book for anyone that’s a fan of Aardman stop motion and wants to see a bit extra; it shows some cool concept art and blows up the neat details in Aardman work, especially in their intricate stuff like The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists!

Asterix and the Picts (Asterix and the Chariot Race, and How Obelix Fell Into The Magic Potion)

I decided to try a couple of the new Asterix comics that were done by the new team, just to see if they stand up to the old ones (that and How Obelix Fell Into The Magic Potion cause I’d never read that one before). They were pretty decent! Asterix and the Picts was my favourite of the two though I wouldn’t say either are going to contest for my favourite Asterix comic... but still! The art looks good and the stories felt like what I would expect, they made for a pleasant couple evenings of reading especially since it’s been so long since I’ve read a new Asterix comic. If you’ve never read Asterix it’s one of the biggest name French comic series in North America, as far as I know and very worth the read. It’s about a single Gaulish village that’s holding out against the invading Romans through sheer force of will, slapstick hijinks, and a magical super-strength potion brewed by their druid. Lots of fantastic visuals and cute wordplay, even in the English translations.

Bear

I found out about this bastion of Canadian literature via tumblr post that was losing its collective mind over the fact that some bizarre bear-based erotica novella somehow won the most prestigious literary prize available in Canada. Since I too found this hilarious and unspeakably bizarre I had to give it a read, obviously. And yes, the flat surface level summary is... a librarian moves out into rural Ontario and falls in love with a literal for-real not-supernatural-not-a-joke bear. And I have to say… it is actually worthy of an award, which I was not expecting given that I was there for a laugh. It has beautiful writing, and the subtextual story is pretty interesting… it kind of makes me think of The Haunting of Hill House actually in terms of themes. (Womanhood, personhood, independence, autonomy partially achieved through escaping the male gaze by claiming non-human lovers... listen if I were still in university I would right a paper comparing the two novels).

I dunno man, it’s fucking weird. Actually a well-written book, but sure is about a woman falling in love with a literal bear. Give it a read if you want something bonkers but like… high-brow bonkers.

Hunger Pangs: True Love Bites

Best book I have read in like… a while. A long while. I am not a fast reader, and I consumed 90% of this book over a weekend. It’s not at all like Terry Pratchett, but at the same time it scratched an itch for me that I haven’t had satisfied since Pratchett’s death. A very clever, hilariously funny poly romance between a disabled werewolf, an anxious vampire lord, and an incredibly powerful woman, with heaps of social satire, political commentary, and sinister undertones. The whole thing reads a bit like fanfiction and I say that in the most flattering way possible -- it is so easy to jump right in and be immediately taken over by the characters and the world and the plot, you never feel like you’re fighting to engage even though the world-building is fascinating and expansive. It welcomes you in right away, it was the book equivalent of a quilt and a hug which is something I sorely needed with all this pandemic bullshit. If you read any of the books on this list, go read that one while I sit here in pain waiting for the sequel.

Kid Paddle

I watched the cartoon of Kid Paddle as a kid and was thinking about it recently, so I decided to hunt down some of the original comics online. They’re fun and weird, with a cute art style and fantastic monsters designs. (My favourites are always about Kid either daydreaming or playing games that involve Midam’s weird warty troll creatures. It’s like a cross between Calvin and Hobbes and Foxtrot with the fun sort of quirks that I love in Belgian comics. Unfortunately, unlike Asterix, I’ve only come across these ones in French, but if you can read French it’s totally worth popping over to The Internet Archive and reading the ones they have available.

The Last Firehawk: The Golden Temple

The lastest Firehawk book. Despite being written for quite young readers, I did enjoy the early books in this series quite a bit. They’re about a young owl and squirrel who found an egg for a magical species that was believed to be extinct. With the newly hatched firehawk, the three of them head off on a mission to find an ancient firehawk magic that could save the entire forest. Very basic adventure story but a good intro to the tropes for children. Unfortunately the quality really feels like it drops with each subsequent book; this will probably be the last one I bother reading.

Lumberjanes: The Moon Is Up

I honestly think I enjoy these Lumberjanes novels even more than the comics just because it really gives time to delve into each story and examine how the camper are really thinking and feeling about everything. (Also I’m always weak for novelizations of anything.) The Moon Is Up is a book that focuses more on Jo, and takes place during the camp’s much anticipated Galaxy Wars, a competition between cabins that goes over several days. While the campers prepare for these challenges though, they also run into a strange little creature with a penchant for cheese and theft. Roanoke cabin needs to keep ahead in Galaxy Wars and somehow deal with the fearsome Moon Pirates that a closing in...

Lumberjanes v4 (Out Of Time)

One of the Lumberjanes comics, a cool, girl-focused, queer comic series. Honestly, this is just a fun series that I never got as into as I should have. My advice is honestly to skip book one because it gets better as it continues, and I’ve really been enjoying the later books now that I’ve given it another go. It follows five campers at Miss Qiunzella Thiskwin Penniquiqul Thistle Crumpet’s Camp for Hardcore Lady Types (Jo, April, Molly, Mal, and Ripley) as they handle all sorts of challenges, from friendship to crushes, camp activities to supernatural horrors, getting badges to not being brutally killed. Great if you liked the vibe of Gravity Falls but want it to be queer-er.

Mooncakes

Another queer graphic novel, but unfortunately not a very good one. It really looked appealing and I had high hopes, but the book itself really didn’t hold up… I actually couldn’t even finish it, the plot was just too… non-existent. The art is fairly mediocre once you actually look at it, especially backgrounds, and it feels very… placid. Not much conflict or excitement or even a very compelling reason to keep reading. If you just want a soft queer supernatural you may get more mileage out of it than me, but it didn’t really do it for me. There’s better queer graphic novels out there.

New Boy In Town

One of the worst books I have ever read. My girlfriend had ordered a very different book online but through a frankly stupendous error was sent this 1980s pulp romance instead. Absolutely nauseating on levels I couldn’t even begin to enumerate here. Naturally we read the whole thing out loud. Probably took us 10 times longer to finish than it warranted because I had to stop every two sentences to lose my mind. If you like bad decisions, baffling hetero courting rituals, built-in cultural Christianity without actually calling it that, and gold panning then boy howdy is this the book for you.

(seriously, you better have patience for gold-panning if you attempt this one, because I sure learn that I don’t)

Piggies

This was a picture book I enjoyed as a kid and had a reason to reread recently. Honestly it’s just very cute and simple, and the art is completely mesmerizing. Wonderful if you know a young child that would enjoy a simple goofy boardbook.

Shaun the Sheep: Tales From Mossy Bottom

Related to my Aardman fascination earlier this month. I tried reading a varieties of Shaun the Sheep books — most of which are mediocre at best — but the Tales From Mossy Bottom Farm series is genuinely good. Just chapter books, of course, but the illustrations match the series’ concept art and each story feels like it could have jumped directly out of an episode. They’re just cute and feel-good! Kinda like Footrot Flats but more for kids, and from the sheep’s perspective moreso than the dog’s.

[radramblog]

Dreamworks Tier List

It’s a low effort post time!

I asked for a random tier list to do and this is what was handed to me. I can work with this. Time to ruin some people’s opinions of me.

Aight lets get this out of the way.

I’d consider watching some of these- Prince of Egypt and How to train your dragon 2/3 are apparently pretty good, and I’d watch The Croods for Nic Cage alone. But I think the bottom tier are just inexcusable, based off what I’ve seen and heard of trailers and opinions and reviews since their release. And Antz and Sinbad are movies I’ve definitely seen as like, a 5 year old, but I don’t know shit so I might as well not have.

 Shit Tier

If you’ve seen the trailer for Madagascar 3, where Marty does the whole “da-da-dadadada-da-dada circus” for way to long, you’ve seen Madagascar 3. The rest of the movie is just as obnoxious and unfunny.

Similarly, Monsters vs Aliens is just devoid of anything resembling humour or intrigue. The most I remember is the scene of the President trying to communicate with the aliens by…playing Axel F? I remember it because at the time I was like holy shit a Crazy Frog reference, but that’s not something I like to acknowledge being a fan of these days.

Shark Tale is an abomination unto god, and that’s even before we get to how fucking weird it looks. It’s an entire fucking story built around the “liar revealed” plot, which is easily one of the most aggravating plot archetypes ever devised. Somehow it’s not the worst cinema Will Smith has been in, a fact that is frankly mind-boggling- but After Earth and the second half of Hancock still exist, so.

 Bad Tier

Over the Edge was something I found entertaining as a kid, but I’m not sure why. It does have the climax sequence I did like, but that one blatant reference got a lot less funny when I realized it wasn’t original. For the life of me I don’t remember what the reference is to, but it’s some anime, you know.

Bee Movie is the source of some of the greatest memes of all time, and for that alone it gets a rescue from shit tier. But it’s so, so awful. I really don’t know who signed off this plot.

Madagascar was a series that only got worse as it went on. It didn’t start that good. At least this one has Moto Moto.

Shrek the Third is the worst Shrek, and it’s nooooot particularly close. I don’t remember a huge amount from it, but what I do remember wasn’t good. Why did they make Donkey fuck the dragon?

 OK tier

Madagascar 1 was the best Madagascar, and in a surprising reversal of how this normally goes, managed to be significantly better than it’s Disney (?!) ripoff, Into the Wild. The one with the most genuine emotional moments, and the first one before they started shoving the Penguins and King Julien down everyone’s throat. Sidenote, did you know Julien is voiced by Sacha Baron Cohen??

Shrek Forever After somehow managed to be less bad than Shrek the Third, but it’s not like it was particularly good. It’s a wonderful life but it’s Shrek is more compelling than I would have expected, seeing as it does mean you have to have him actually acknowledge the development of his character. The framing of this, and the “comedy” therein, do not land.

 Good Tier

For what it’s worth, I think Shrek is overrated. This doesn’t mean I think it’s bad, obviously, quite the opposite. It’s a parody that thankfully doesn’t rely too heavily on reference and gross-out humour, but manages to have the comedy actually land in a way I don’t think anyone at the time expected. But it’s really overshadowed by the sequel.

I basically don’t remember anything from How to Train your Dragon, but I’m pretty sure I’d get my throat slit if I put it any lower than this, so. It’s aight? Probably need to rewatch it, but you’d have to force me to do it.

I genuinely forgot the Wallace and Gromit movie, along with the other Aardman Animations films, ended up under the Dreamworks umbrella. I’d argue Curse of the Were-Rabbit is weaker than the original shorts, but considering how perfectly charming those are, that isn’t actually saying that much. Now that I think of it, have I ever watched this all the way through? It might be up here by pedigree alone.

Speaking of Aardman, Flushed Away is genuinely excellent comedy, and would probably be substantially higher if the main characters’ design didn’t weird me out. They’re a little too anthropomorphized.

Kung Fu Panda is best described by the Chinese film producer who said, “Why did we never make this film?” While I find Po somewhat obnoxious, the rest of the movie more than compensates.

Holy shit I need to go rewatch Megamind, that movie was so fucking good but I haven’t seen it since it came out. Somehow I remember a review of the Wii game in some magazine (34ish % iirc) better than I do that film, and that’s a genuine tragedy. I didn’t even realise that meme of the villain from like last year or so was actually from Megamind, aaarrgh.

Top Tier

Shrek 2 is a perfect sequel. It innovates on the parody elements, continues the story in an interesting way, and has genuinely good emotional moments with a frankly iconic climax. I’m not sure I have a single bad thing to say about it. It’s really, really good.

Chicken Run is another one where it’s hard to gush about. It’s just excellent Aardman Brothers animation combined with a solid premise and surprisingly dark elements, and all of those come together to make a genuinely top tier movie. One of the best animated films ever made? Maybe.

But El Dorado is better. What El Dorado feels like to me is the secret 5th member of that period where Disney was just putting out off-beat but excellent animated films- from when we got Lilo and Stitch, The Emperor’s New Groove, and Atlantis. The last glorious breaths of American 2D animation. It’s a peerless adventure film, on a similar stage as the better Indiana Jones films or the aforementioned Atlantis, while managing to be engaging for those of all ages. It’s got witty dialogue for days, and astonishing visuals and music. I don’t think Dreamworks has made a better movie than this, and I don’t think they ever will.

That image this list is using for it looks fucking awful though, holy shit.

[chaos-monkeyy]

State of Chaos

Hi folks! Been awhile since I did this (and I meant to do it yesterday, whoops.. *pretends it’s still Wednesday* 😅). 

So as usual, I’ve wound up working on a lot of random stuff instead of getting all the languishing WIPs done 😂 But I have wrapped up a few things! Also, it’s almost November and I have something I’ve picked to try doing for NaNoWriMo… It’s already making me nervous because 1,667 words a day is rather a lot AND my idea has way more plot than I usually write (still porn too though, fear not). Anyway, I have no idea how well it’s gonna go but I can at least give it a shot! So if it actually goes well, I’m unlikely to be posting as much fic for the next little while. 

Oh! There are a couple new fandoms in the mix now too. Namely, the Thrawn Ascendancy novel as well as Stargate Atlantis, thanks to an exceptionally fun rewatch with Leif and DD 😁 I’m just horribly fixated lately on John Sheppard and his should-be-illegal pants… and now Ronon is there too, I may not survive 🤤 Backstory, I adore stargate SG1 and Atlantis, grew up watching it, but this is the first time I’m watching any of it since learning about fandom sooo… I’m having fun lol

(p.s. In case anyone was wondering, my little dumbass cat successfully learned how to use her fancy feeder. It’s adorable watching her nose it open, and Unauthorized Greedy Pet is extremely put out any time he tries to go steal her food now 😆)

Assassin’s Creed 

Diletto 

Shelved for now— not abandoned, just haven’t been feeling the het smut lately.

The skills of Assassins 

I’ve gotten a bit stuck on chapter 4 of the Ezio/Mario fic for some reason, but I did make some progress on it! So that fic update is still coming, just… slowly. 

Other 

I started some Shaun/Desmond AC3 cavern sex but got stuck and haven’t finished it 🙈 Also vague outlines written out for potential sequels to both Not Here (Desmond wetting himself in the Animus) and Demands and Desires (AC3 HaythCon filth). And I have been poking at the Witcher crossover fic too! 

Posted 

Demands and Desires - HaythCon smut; contains incest and ManipulativeAsshole!Haytham. Explicit.

Ache - Drabble smut about Ezio jerkin’ it; 100 words for my 100th fic 🎉. Explicit.

Midsomer Murders 

MM x Wallace and Gromit crossover

I’ve been thinking about this one recently, I’m gonna try and get access to s14 and 15 of Midsomer and maybe start working at it again! It’s the most long-running WIP I have… Actual Story is HARD 😭🥺

Star Wars

The self-indulgent Chiss-human orgy fic 

It’s very close to being done! I’m hoping to get it finished up with Jewell before too much longer 😊😏 

[Title redacted] 

Still working on this filth fest with Rev. It’ll be done some day, we just have too much we want to put into it where is the brain-to-fic machine already dammit 😭

Other

Someday I intend to get that part 3 of the Pinned (Thranto) and the Stripped (Thrawn/Thrass) series written. I also have a plan for another Thrakif fic, too damn many plans to continue the Inappropriate Places pissfic series, and a delicious kinky little Thranto prompt still in my askbox here that I am definitely going to fill sooner or later 😏

Posted 

A Moment in Private - Thrakif smut; Cadet Thrawn getting off while fantasizing about General Ba’kif. Explicit.

A rare thing - Thrawn/Ziara fluff and cuddles ficlet. Teen and up. 

Breathless - Thrakif breathplay; prompt fill with lots of desk sex and light Dom/sub. Explicit. 

(Come) Ride With Me - Thrawn/Eli/Thrass smut. I finally finished the chisscest-y Biker AU!! Explicit. 

Discoveries - Part 1 of Eli peeing in inappropriate places and Thrawn getting turned on by it (well, so does Eli). Explicit. 

Zombie / what’s in your head - A rare angst-tacular Thranto fic. MCD and heavy subject matter. Mature. 

Stargate Atlantis

Nothing specific in progress; it’ll be whatever I get inspired to write as I keep watching through the show! My personal rule for these is that I can write whatever grabs my interest so long as I don’t take too long working on it 🙈 

Posted 

Of rituals and birthday presents - Sheppard / Keras implied-smut. Light-hearted stuff featuring aural voyeurism and a very flustered Rodney McKay. Teen and up. 

The smart thing - dark!Sheppard / Kolya, includes fear-wetting and noncon facefucking. Mind the tags. Explicit. 

The Witcher 

I don’t have much Witcher fic on the burner at the moment. Kinda waiting for s2 at this point, really, and someday I’ll play TW3 and probably get some more inspiration from there! I have been picking at the Witcher x AC Gerezkier (Geralt/Ezio/Jaskier) crossover with Levs, though! I’m slowly getting more comfortable with the smut-to-story balance as we work out where it’s going 😁. Other than that, I have a few things still kicking around my ideas list that I might pick up at some point when brain decides it wants to randomly start something new instead of working on WIPs. 

Posted 

Flagrant Indecency - I did manage to get the final chapter of this finished and posted for the Finish Your Fic deadline! 🥳💦. Explicit. 

Don’t Stop - Geraskier somnomo prompt fill. Juiced-up Geralt, somnophilia, and watersports; some consent issues. Explicit. 

[theparanormalperiodical]

Best Horror Movies Available To Stream This Halloween (UK) ~ 2020

It’s been a hard year.

Easter was cancelled, the Olympics is off the table, and it’s starting to look like Christmas is going to be a quiet one.

Halloween is facing a similar fate.

But just as much as we are pressing pause on trick-or-treating and going to the pub in a pair of cat ears, there are plenty of ways to make up for the misery.

Yep, you can get spooky and socially distance.

All Hallow’s Eve is the one night a year that the boundaries between the spirit world the mortal realm blurred - and horror film binges have always neatly fit into how we celebrate it.

Our favourite streaming services have picked up on this. They know that this year people will be opting for a night in with a cult classic and bowl of burnt microwave popcorn.

(I mean it’s all just kernels at this point.)

So, to make sure you have the happiest Halloween you can, I’ve compiled the best horror movies on Netflix and Amazon Prime.

They’ve been organised into a number of categories - including family-friendly films in case you don’t want to traumatise you or any children - and each have a link to the trailer so you can wet your appetite for somethin’ seriously spooky.

I’ve put an asterisk (*) next to my personal faves, too.

Happy Halloween, kids!

Netflix

The Classics

Anaconda

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkX5t5ZJLEk

*Insidious  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuZnRUcoWos

Insidious Chapter 2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBbi4NeebAk

The Cabin In The Woods  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsIilFNNmkY

Ju-On Origins

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJqHpN9b0U4

Orphan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ywOPNNii9w

Misery

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHQ9CPRfDsw

Psycho  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wz719b9QUqY

Pyscho II

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKprv08HI0s

Friday The 13th

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCfO1aB8CIE

Hannibal

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lr3OavheNu0

Devil

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYy7igKD21A

Christine

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieBmy6qjiCI

Red Dragon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cln4p9DxnGI

American Psycho

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YnGhW4UEhc

Bird Box

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPWMBITCudM

*Halloween (2019)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ek1ePFp-nBI

Nightmare On Elm Street

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZuYoEtEI_go

Freddy Vs Jason

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Agkg4az_9E

Dracula

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgFPIh5mvNc

The Addams Family

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G388UMkJIBE

Addams Family Values

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EisokUNMfeA

Family Friendly

Goosebumps

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Cn716jv61s

Scooby Doo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3dbeI0BU1k

Scooby Doo 2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TT76WvGRGEs

Hotel Transylvania

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYgzizpCTKU

Hotel Translyvania 2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3nqmGgnJe8

Hotel Translyvania 3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ku52zNnft8k

Monster House

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEkeZhWbW7U

Wallace And Gromit: Curse Of The Were-Rabbit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXYNHHj4KDw

The Addams Family

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G388UMkJIBE

Addams Family Values

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EisokUNMfeA

Hubie Halloween

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kY3SuNvqQPw

*Corpse Bride

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGACeWVdFqo

Based On A True Story

*The Exorcism Of Emily Rose

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bi-PLwxwvy8

*Veronica

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQW5I5tCy28

*The Conjuring

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k10ETZ41q5o

SLENDER MAN

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySy8mcceTno

Annabelle

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=paFgQNPGlsg

Curse of Chucky

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lw8rBxYC1Dw

Child’s Play

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PeHNLikDiVw

Seed of Chucky

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKc-mP5xXQY

Deliver Us From Evil

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWDM_p68HAQ

Halloween Movies

Holidays

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bc4NJKDxV4Y

Monster House

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEkeZhWbW7U

*Halloween (2019)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ek1ePFp-nBI

Trick

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kX87UogsuuE

Gore & Slasher

The First Purge

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UL29y0ah92w

Would You Rather

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=it5XICr93wU

Saw: The Final Chapter

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xC7yCELivB8

Freddy Vs Jason

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Agkg4az_9E

The Last House On The Left

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EZyJxabVck

Friday The 13th

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCfO1aB8CIE

Halloween (2019)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ek1ePFp-nBI

Jeepers Creepers 3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jgium_8mSFM

47 Meters Down Uncaged

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvXjx8SZbv8

Hush

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_P8WCbhC6s

Unfriended

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q72LWqCx3pc

A Quiet Place

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WR7cc5t7tv8

*Unfriended: Dark Web

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XenTM_C9fxM

Paranormal

*The Exorcism Of Emily Rose

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bi-PLwxwvy8

*Veronica

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQW5I5tCy28

Ouija

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_T1Jj1inE8M

Deliver Us From Evil

ttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWDM_p68HAQ

*Extra Ordinary

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8V1dEsZAQyg

Annabelle

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=paFgQNPGlsg

*The Conjuring

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k10ETZ41q5o

*Insidious

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuZnRUcoWos

Insidious Chapter 2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBbi4NeebAk

Insidious Chapter 3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HxEXnVSr1w

Paranormal Activity 2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07XbSk7Rjt4

Paranormal Activity 3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90r3CnPI0AM

Paranormal Activity 4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7Xn2JqH5ng

Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zR2cc1BwdmI

*Sinister

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kbQAJR9YWQ

Case 39

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cd9t9yHK7Mw

SLENDER MAN

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySy8mcceTno

Krampus

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6cVyoMH4QE

Hereditary

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHxcDbai7aU

Curse of Chucky

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lw8rBxYC1Dw

Child’s Play

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PeHNLikDiVw

Seed of Chucky

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKc-mP5xXQY

Dead Silence

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8b_HVtHmK30

Eli

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfSTiAw1rkM

Crimson Peak

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yAbFYbi8XU

Psychological

Session 9

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4s-5eJq47bY

Inception

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YoHD9XEInc0

House At The End Of The Street

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SNvuq7bULo

Shutter Island

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5iaYLCiq5RM

Hereditary

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHxcDbai7aU

In The Tall Grass

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7afc9gTbVFI

Gerald’s Game

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyLOAaihZ84

Apostle

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1JdWOqc9Q8

CAM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9x5ImTWK5s

Jump Scare Fests

*Insidious  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuZnRUcoWos

Insidious Chapter 2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBbi4NeebAk

Insidious Chapter 3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HxEXnVSr1w

Paranormal Activity 2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07XbSk7Rjt4

Paranormal Activity 3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90r3CnPI0AM

Paranormal Activity 4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7Xn2JqH5ng

Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zR2cc1BwdmI

Annabelle

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=paFgQNPGlsg

*Sinister

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kbQAJR9YWQ

Horror Comedies

The Babysitter

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQTEUd-5JMQ

The Babysitter: Killer Queen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WzUYkzRgBE

*Corpse Bride

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGACeWVdFqo

A Haunted House

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J50vA5VLR6k

Dark Shadows

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6tVdffCr_M

iZombies

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQhzQDW4L84

Little Evil

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mnj-MXs1yVU

*Extra Ordinary

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8V1dEsZAQyg

Girls With Balls

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9X0GMOcZnYw

TV Shows

*Haunting of Hill House

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eqxXqJDmcY

Haunting of Bly Manor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tykS7QfTWMQ

American Horror Story

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9KZr2Vn7CQ

Haunted

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPoTMwOftuA

Ju-On Origins

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJqHpN9b0U4

Scream

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YiOtdDnwJs

Ratched

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZU9ZtlkSnnE

Stranger Things

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnd7sFt5c3A

Amazon Prime

The Classics

The Coven

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvCNJenh1mE

Midsommar

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Vnghdsjmd0

Sweeney Todd (1936)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4R72KROZ20

Evil Dead

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NL6mioAlpJk

Children Of The Corn

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qs6z1D4gVp4

Children Of The Corn II

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hp1omM4nGLE

*Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vlya92LZqZw

Shaun Of The Dead

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqQ8Y9Sjp7o

*The Blair Witch Project

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_Hw4bAUj8A

The Cabin In The Woods

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsIilFNNmkY

Final Destination

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lP4Psj7d1ZI

Ghostbusters 2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnzH75FlwvU

The Shining

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Cb3ik6zP2I

Suspiria

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Y0EEqtWrJI

Family Friendly

*Corpse Bride

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tpLNUI9rQU

Dark Shadows

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6tVdffCr_M

Ghostbusters 2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnzH75FlwvU

Shaun Of The Dead

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqQ8Y9Sjp7o

Based On A True Story

*The Nun

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwAM5UnGd2s

The Possession

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVjggWQRlQQ

*As Above So Below

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83PpryYHHeY

Final Destination

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lP4Psj7d1ZI

The Shining

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Cb3ik6zP2I

Gore & Slasher

Silence Of The Lambs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6Mm8Sbe__o

Midsommar

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Vnghdsjmd0

The Limehouse Golem

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8EJAyk01kk

Sweeney Todd (1936)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4R72KROZ20

Evil Dead

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NL6mioAlpJk

Shaun Of The Dead

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqQ8Y9Sjp7o

Final Destination

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lP4Psj7d1ZI

Paranormal

Evil Dead

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NL6mioAlpJk

Dead Silence

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8b_HVtHmK30

*The Woman In Black

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnY0fEV30Wk

The Woman In Black 2: Angel Of Death

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_Pzj_LoNXI

*The Blair Witch Project

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_Hw4bAUj8A

Blair Witch 2: Book Of Shadows

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75cjbtUhTjE

*As Above So Below

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83PpryYHHeY

The Rite

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hG3ktopqv8

Mama

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Am7i7uM9r0

Paranormal Activity

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_UxLEqd074

The Shining

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Cb3ik6zP2I

Suspiria

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Y0EEqtWrJI

Psychological

The Shining

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Cb3ik6zP2I

Midsommar

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Vnghdsjmd0

It Follows

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkZYbOH0ujw

The Turning

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rl33gU2APIs

Suspiria (1977)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Y0EEqtWrJI

Jumpscare Fest

*The Woman In Black

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnY0fEV30Wk

The Woman In Black 2: Angel Of Death

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_Pzj_LoNXI

*As Above So Below

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83PpryYHHeY

Paranormal Activity

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_UxLEqd074

*The Nun

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwAM5UnGd2s

Dead Silence

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8b_HVtHmK30

Horror Comedies

All 7 Sharknado movies

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-pXDoe5a0E

Pride And Prejudice And Zombies

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foGraEVNI0s

RIPD

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EvwH80AvtAg

What We Do In The Shadows

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAZEWtyhpes

Warm Bodies

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07s-cNFffDM

The Meg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3zb4fwFd3E

Stan Helsing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srbmLtGc6vQ

TV Shows

Demon House

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGbZheZYpLM

Buffy The Vampire Slayer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1v_q6TWAL4

The Purge

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gY4JFEXGUGY

Most Haunted (I can’t find a trailer so here’s a video clip of some outtakes)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUNBl9L09EI

Bates Motel

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4ABq1FuEmI

Which one’s are you watching this Halloween?

(And which one’s are you going to watch at any time of the year cause you don’t conform to the system?)

Follow this blog if you want to see a new article on horror movies and the paranormal every week and a new real ghost story everyday!

And while you’re there, make sure you check out this online ghost story collection to hear real paranormal experiences as told by you.

[letterboxd]

Pixar’s Picks: Family Films.

You’re stuck inside, saving the world. So we asked a group of award-winning Pixar filmmakers to help self-isolating families plan the very best movie nights (and days, and nights, and days…). And we talked to children’s film specialist Nicola Marshall about the beauty of movies made for kids, especially now.

Children deserve to watch great films, but kids are famously honest viewers. They’ll tell you instantly when they don’t like something. And when they do, it pays off: in Academy Awards (this year, for Hair Love and Toy Story 4), in stone-cold cash (as Box Office Mojo’s Top Box Office Grosses by G-rating confirms), and in precious family memories.

But where to turn when you need a quality watchlist of family films? When you want a guaranteed banger that the whole family will love, or when you want to move your child to next-level-cinephile status with a choice that will floor them? The answer, to us at least, is obvious: Pixar to the rescue!

We asked a group of the renowned studio’s directors and story artists—the people behind WALL·E, Finding Nemo, Inside Out, Bao, La Luna, The Good Dinosaur, Purl, Cars 3, Toy Story 4 and more—to show up in your hour of need, and show up they have, with personal recommendations that we’ve split into three Letterboxd lists: All Ages, 7 to 12 Years and 12 Years and Over.

From two-minute shorts to the entire Harry Potter collection, there’s something for every viewing window. From Charlie Chaplin to Greta Gerwig, the films cover a century of cinema; and from slapstick to horror, a multitude of genres.

Our filmmakers were remarkably restrained, nominating more Studio Ghibli films than Pixar movies, though they collectively agreed that Toy Story should most definitely be there. So we’ll say it for them: please explore all the films of our contributing filmmakers: Angus MacLane, Domee Shi, Kristen Lester, Daniel Chong, Peter Sohn, Valerie LaPointe, Brian Fee, Enrico Casarosa and Andrew Stanton. Thanks, you wonderful people.

Hayao Miyazaki’s ‘My Neighbor Totoro’ (1988).

Since many of us at Letterboxd HQ are grateful parents, this feels like a good moment to reflect on the enormous importance of ‘family’ films—so we pulled in our friend Nicola Marshall for a chat. She’s the founder of the Square Eyes film foundation, a curator of children’s film festival content, and a friend of the Henson family (not long ago, she created a live show with The Muppets and Flight of the Conchords’ Bret McKenzie).

Like most of us, Nicola is currently in self-isolation, after the hasty wrap-up of the 23rd annual New York International Children’s Film Festival (of which she is an advisory board member).

We’re living in an extraordinary time. How do movies help kids work out what’s going on in and around their lives? Nicola Marshall: Films are an essential way to unpack big feelings during big times. Like all of us, kids are expressing, and suppressing, all kinds of emotions right now, and are sponges for absorbing the emotions of the adults around them. Using a familiar medium to help unpack all we’re feeling, no matter how old we are, feels like a great plan to me. Art always supports processing and groundedness in uncertain times.

What’s your overall impression of the choices made by our Pixar friends for these lists? These are brilliant, eclectic selections—what superb curators these remarkable Pixar creators are, right? An excellent mix of films made for young audiences, and titles bound to appeal to them.

I’m thrilled to see, alongside some beautiful surprises and unknown gems, a lot of long-time personal favorites (Ernest & Celestine, Millions, Ponyo, The Muppet Movie, Fantastic Mr. Fox, The Red Balloon, My Neighbor Totoro, The Kid, Gerald McBoing-Boing, Wallace & Gromit, Modern Times, The Iron Giant, The Phantom Tollbooth, Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, Monsieur Hulot’s Holiday, Yellow Submarine, Bicycle Thieves, Megan Follows as Anne of Green Gables… they go on!).

While the lists lean heavily on a canon of western-produced films, there are some terrific international cinema choices in the mix here (The World of Us, Good Morning), and a bunch of lesser-known historic titles I’m super eager to check out (Preston Sturges marathon, here I come!).

Yasujirō Ozu’s ‘Good Morning’ (1959).

Some of the Pixar directors included horror films—Get Out, It—and some Hitchcock thrillers in their 12 Years and Over lists. These selections are for older teenagers, clearly. What are your thoughts on the role of scares in kids’ viewing experiences? I’ve always been interested in the psychology of frightening films. Personally I’m too much of a big scaredy-cat for horror to be a genre that generally works for me (self-censorship all the way!), but there are a whole bunch of people out there who really love a good freak-out; kiddos included.

As a kid I think you’re always testing and readjusting your limits on where your fear boundaries are. One of the highly anticipated and super popular NYICFF collections each year is 'Heebie Jeebies’—short films that go out of their way to freak and fright. Kids (and the adults who attend alongside them) adore this collection and the expectation of being spooked.

I think humans love experiencing extreme feelings in small doses, to feel alive, whether we have big sensation-seeking personalities or not—and seeing something terrifying on screen has a certain safety to it. I also think scary films in collectively tricky times offer catharsis and adrenal release, and give us permission to scream long and loud, when that’s all we really feel like doing!

The New York International Children’s Film Festival wrapped up suddenly as the coronavirus pandemic began its march into the United States, but you did manage to screen much of the program. Other film festivals weren’t so fortunate. Would you like to take a small moment to celebrate the main takeaways of this year’s fest? NYICFF was so lucky to share three of the planned four collective viewing weekends, just ahead of a swift city-wide shutdown. I’m a tad biased, but I really do feel you only have to look to NYICFF’s annual programming to get a genuine sense of the state of the world for young people globally; the issues they face and what themes are currently resonating.

Our programming director Maria-Christina Villaseñor consistently curates a remarkable selection of films that speak to the experience of young people, valuing their views and voices, always insightful, and never condescending.

This year saw a number of films—feature and short—that depicted stories of kids determined to make a difference and taking self-guided steps into activism and action. My faith in our future is pretty darn solid right now thanks to the optimism and commitment of these kids—and the filmmakers giving voice to young audiences and speaking to big themes and shared cross-cultural truths.

Nicola Marshall.

What can the rest of the movie industry learn from all-ages creators and studios? I wish that there was greater wider-industry acknowledgement of the massive contributions that content for family and kids audiences make in terms of moving the overall film industry forward, both artistically and societally. As well as showing us fresh, meaningful and authentic ways to tell stories, the genuine commitment to diversity and inclusion in this space is meaningful, often to the point where it feels completely natural, unforced and expected in content for this audience, rather than some kind of box-ticking effort.

What do you think this pandemic will offer the storytellers of the future? I think we will come out of this time ready to offer stories with even greater connectedness and empathy. I think our collective slowing will allow, if we let it, an incredible development incubator. How we make our way through this uncertain time as adults and work through our relationship with fear and the unknown will hugely resonate with the kids we’re sharing our lives with. I think we can use art and story and myth and expression and feeling to navigate us all through.

For all those hunkered down with small people, what better time to share your favorite screen stories, and discover new films together. What we chose to watch and to share and to rewatch; to talk about and unpack our feelings around and distract ourselves with through this weird, big time will make a real difference to the kids in our lives, and their innate imaginative-storyteller selves, now and future.

Finally, what are your favorite Pixar movies? Pixar has always excelled at making incredible films with grown-up sensibilities squarely aimed at young audiences—truly cross-generational cinema, my very favorite kind. I love WALL·E for its seamless mix of art and heart, Brave for its representation of girl-strength, and Inside Out for exploring the shared humanness of feeling things deeply, and for reassuring us how valid and essential sadness is.

Related content

Pixar’s short films ranked according to Letterboxd community ratings.

Our 2018 interview with ‘Paddington’ and ‘Paddington 2’ director Paul King.

[letters-from-the-three-houses]

If you don’t mind, can I have Disney headcanons for the blue lions? What movies they like, how much they like it, stuff like that. I’ve been,, all over the place with the Ashe Aladdin AU (I made this an ask w/ bae-leth) So I feel very Disney. Maybe the other houses too?

disney!! here are the aladdin!au asks in question for the curious: [1] [2]

i did all the houses because why not, and i included affiliated companies (e.g. pixar) so it gave me more freedom (i added a 'true' disney film for everyone just in case though). there are also non-disney films that i included for some of the characters bc they seemed like the type to like them c:

hope you like it!

black eagles:

edelgard - she’s the type that watches it only when she has free time. she doesn’t exactly have a favourite, but she thinks all of the toy story movies are great (pure disney: the great mouse detective, for its mystery and sherlock holmes-like main character; the climax scene keeps her on the edge of her seat)

hubert - (watership down, wallace and gromit, any tim burton film) he likes more serious, psychological thriller movies so disney doesn’t really suit his tastes. if he had to choose, james and the giant peach (pure disney: hunchback of notre dame)

dorothea - she’s loves all of the musicals, and the ones with great songs. so films like the princess movies, enchanted, tarzan, etc. are right up her alley! she lives and breathes high school musical. her favourite disney song of all time is cinderella’s 'a dream is a wish your heart makes', and she tells everyone to give sequels a chance

ferdinand - he won’t admit it, but he likes the aristocats because of the soundtrack. doesn’t watch/care for disney though

bernadetta - the chronicles of narnia was her entire childhood. whenever she rewatches it, she eyes the fantasy cg with pure fascination and daydreams about being in narnia (pure disney: live action alice and wonderland for the same reason)

caspar - (sharkboy and lavagirl, home alone) hercules! when he saw it as a kid, he idolized hercules so much he wanted to grow up like him. you can still catch him whistling 'zero to hero' every now and then. cars is also a fun ride, as is sky high

petra - she thinks mulan is awesome. she admires quasimodo (hunchback of notre dame) for triumphing despite all the difficulties he encounters as well, and talks about it to hubert sometimes

linhardt - (space jam) holes. the movie is juuust weird enough for him to stay awake and not doze off, but even then he’s kind of meh. either version of fantasia is way too weird though—he’ll ditch it before you can even say 'mickey' (pure disney: honey, i shrunk the kids)

blue lions:

dimitri - (the polar express) lion king because he’s basic there’s something admirable about simba’s journey to become a king. also because lions. he unironically enjoyed frozen and likes a lot of classic christmas films

dedue - (prince of egypt) all of disney’s nature documentaries; he thinks the penguins are cute. monsters, inc. makes him happy because he imagines himself as sully, felix as mike, and dimitri as boo

felix - pirates of the caribbean. he can try to hide the fact that he once cosplayed as jack sparrow when he was fourteen, but his friends will never live it down. in a similar vein, ghost in the shell 2 and zorro bc he’s an edgy weeb

mercedes - (sound of music) mary poppins. she likes the dynamic between mary and the children, and 'spoonful of sugar' is her go-to song while she does chores. bridge to terabithia also has a special place in her heart. she doesn’t actively go out and watch movies though

ashe - (an american tail, balto, land before time) he a) loves animals and b) loves the ones centred around families, so he likes brother bear, finding nemo, lilo and stitch, etc. his favourites are bambi and coco bc bambi kind of reminds him of himself and miguel’s family is his ideal family. also, both of the goofy movies. without fail, he will always tear up once the credits roll for the fox and the hound

annette - (all of the barbie movies) a hardcore disney fan. her favourite princess is rapunzel (tangled)—bc exploring the world? curious about everything? perky and sweet? she really connects with her! would sing 'i see the light' in the shower. loves one hundred and one dalmations, lady and the tramp, and a lot of the cute romantic ones. goes on a disney marathon with mercie and ingrid every summer

sylvain - he once saw the incredibles on the big screen and thought it was great. would also enjoy the sorcerer’s apprentice if he bothered to watch it (pure disney: ratatouille)

ingrid - (charlotte’s web) only watches disney with annette. fond of up and all of the winnie the pooh films for their heartwarming stories

golden deer:

claude - the emperor’s new groove. the constant thrills and kuzco’s sass keep him engaged throughout the whole film. he also likes zootopia for its intrigue and well-timed jokes, and he managed to correctly guess who the mastermind was way before the movie ended. also loves robin hood and national treasure. he’s probably a huge movie junkie so he likes a lot more films outside of disney!

lorenz - (who framed roger rabbit) he doesn’t really enjoy any of the movies. if you twist his arm, he’ll maybe say pocahontas (bc he secretly likes 'colours of the wind')

hilda - if you ever complain about the princess diaries, she’ll kick you out of the dorm and never let you back in until you apologize. she’s more of a fan of the live action films, especially if they star lindsay lohan

raphael - (cloudy with a chance of meatballs, kung fu panda, all of the lego movies, despicable me, ice age, madagascar) chicken little. it’s just a coincidence that a lot of the movies he likes coincidentally involve food, he swears. he likes chicken little because it’s fun and aliens. a big, big fan of happy-go-lucky, light animated films—disney or not

lysithea - (jimmy neutron) wreck-it-ralph for its zany story. she’s the one that thinks the 1940 version of fantasia is a cinematic masterpiece

ignatz - cult classics like the sword in the stone, the black cauldron, treasure island, and atlantis bc my boy has good taste he likes the adventure and world building. milo is his spirit animal

marianne - (anastasia) wall-e. she can relate to it really well, and her heart warms once wall-e finds a friend in eve. like dorothea, she also enjoys enchanted and a lot of the disney sequels (lion king 2 and cinderella iii, to name a few)

leonie - (how to train your dragon) brave + the rescuers. probably rolls her eyes whenever there’s a romance scene on the screen. just in it for the action and adventure

[asks are open!]

[hymn2000]

Chiquitita - MCU AU fanfic - C27

Story summary: Something strange is happening. Someone from space has made their way to Earth, armed with a strange weapon. Targeting teenagers, their ray gun, when fired, turns the victim into a toddler. The Avengers set out to stop this, and find a way to reverse the effects. However, they don’t all come out of the battle unscathed.

Previous chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22   23 24  25  26

Part of my Frostiron and Spiderson series.

Warnings/themes: de-aging, family stuff, corporal punishment (early chapters only), mental health stuff, hurt/comfort, hospital/medical stuff

Chapter 27 - Sick And Tired

-

Loki sat in the reading nook, little Peter fast asleep on his chest. Tony sat down beside him. 

“You can’t stay in here all day”

“What makes you so sure?”

“Loki... You know he’s not got much time left as a toddler. Maybe we should let him go a bit mad, play with all his toys at once and stuff like that. I get he’s having a nap now, but you’ve just kinda been sat with him all day”

“We’ve been reading and doing his flashcards”

Tony sighed. “Give him to me”

“He’s comfortable”

Tony sighed again. He stayed quiet. For a moment, Loki did too.

“...You never even tried to understand”

“Loki, please”

Loki swallowed. “Jo Jo understands”

Tony sighed irritably. “Of course he agrees with you. He-”

“I said he understands” Loki interrupted. “Not that he agrees”

Tony took Peter from him and stood up, much to Loki’s dismay.

“Tony! Give him back”

“No. I want to hold him”

“You want to turn a gun on him too”

“Loki, you’re being deliberately awkward. The reversal gun isn’t like a gun gun. It’s gonna help him, not hurt him”

Peter squirmed in Tony’s arms as he woke up, whining.

“Hey, bambino. How are you doing?”

Peter looked up at Tony, and across at Loki. “Thirsty”

“Yeah? No problem, kiddo. Let’s go and get you a drink”

-

Loki sat down on the carpet, watching Peter playing with his trains. 

“Hey, darling” he said gently.

“H’y da’y” Peter said indistinctly.

Loki looked at him. “What have you got in your mouth?”

Peter made a run for it, but Loki was fast, and caught him quickly. He forced Peter’s mouth open, retrieving the offending object.

“Is that- is that a circuit board?! TONY!!!”

Tony soon came into the room. “Yes?”

“What the hell is this?” Loki said, holding up the circuit board.

“Oh, I misplaced that earlier!” Tony said, taking it from him. “Thanks, honey. Where did you find it?”

“In our sons mouth”

“Oh” Tony laughed awkwardly. “Sorry”

“You can’t leave things like that lying around when we’ve got a toddler roaming about. You should know that by now”

“I’ve said sorry! Look, no harm done. No harm done, right, Peter?”

“No harm done!” Peter grinned.

Loki sighed and stood up, lifting Peter into his arms. 

“Daddy! Put me down!” Peter protested. 

“Why don’t we go and do some painting?” Loki suggested.

Peter immediately brightened. “Ok!”

“Oh Loki, come on!” Tony whined. 

Loki ignored him, and swept out of the room.

-

Just as Tony expected, Peter was covered in paint when he went into the kitchen later that day.

“Brilliant”

“He’s wearing an apron, Anthony” 

“I hope you haven’t got paint all over the breakfast bar”

“Cleverly observe the newspapers, darling”

“I painted a picture of my rocket!” Peter grinned. “And this is the ducks at the park, and this is us swimming, and this is me and mumma, and this is me with you and daddy!”

“Ooh, aren’t they lovely?” Tony said, looking at Peter’s paintings. “You’re quite the little artist, aren’t you?”

Peter giggled happily. Tony ruffled his hair. 

“Well then, chick. I think you need to go and have a bath while I get tea ready”

“Oh” Peter looked at Loki. “Can I play with my toys?”

“You can play with your bath toys, yes” Loki said. “Take your apron off. We’d better do as we’re told”

Peter took his apron off and lay it down carefully on the table. He jumped down from his seat, blinking up at Loki.

“Bath time?”

Loki nodded and took his hand. 

-

Loki took his time washing Peter, being as gentle and thorough as possible. Peter frowned. Loki wasn’t making eye contact and talking the way he usually did. Something was wrong. 

“Daddy?”

Loki looked at him. “Yes, darling?”

“Are you sad?”

Loki paused. “Maybe a little bit”

“Why?”

“It’s not something I can explain to you. You don’t need to worry about me”

“Do you wanna play with my bath toys? They make me happy when I’m sad”

Loki smiled. “Yeah, let’s play with your toys. We just need to rinse your hair, and then we can play”

“My water wheel!” Peter said. “I want my water wheel!”

Loki finished rinsing him off and then found the water wheel, pressing it to the inside of the bath. He handed Peter a beaker to be getting on with, and found some of the best bath toys for Peter to play with. Peter hummed happily to himself, keeping the wheel turning with cupfuls of water. Loki lined a few boats up on the water and put a little rubber duck on each of them. He found the big duck that quacked when it hit the water, and floated it in the bath. Peter grinned and giggled. He kept pouring water over his water wheel, quacking away to himself, imitating the big duck. Loki stroked the boys wet hair gently.

“I love you”

“I love you too” Peter said, and continued quacking. 

Loki looked at the tiny boy. He looked at his bright eyes and his little interested face. He looked at his little nose. He looked at him, and thought how tiny and perfect every part of him was. He looked at the little smile on the boys face. 

“You are such a good boy, my little darling” he said gently. “You’re such a good boy”

“Can we go to the park tomorrow?”

“We’ll see” Loki sighed. 

“What are we having for tea?”

“I don’t know. Other daddy is cooking”

Peter stopped quacking and dropped the beaker in the bath. 

“Peter?”

“I heard something”

Loki listened, and heard footsteps. A moment or two later, Tony opened the bathroom door.

“Daddy!”

“Hey, chick” Tony said. He looked at Loki. “Tea’ll be ten minutes”

“Ok” Loki said. “We’ll be in soon”

Tony left, and Loki looked at Peter. 

“Time to get out of the bath, chick” Loki said. 

“Do I have to?”

“I’m afraid so. We need to get you dried and into your night clothes so we can go and have dinner” Loki said. “Ok?”

Peter looked at his toys, and reluctantly pulled the bath plug out. Loki carefully lifted him out of the bath and wrapped him up in a warm towel. He picked him up and cradled him close. 

“Let’s get you sorted”

-

Loki and Tony let Peter stay up later than usual that night. After tea they went into the living room and put on a Wallace and Gromit DVD. Loki gave Peter a little bit of fizzy pop in his sippy cup as a special treat. Peter sat on the floor with his drink, rocking his baby doll in its cot with his foot and lining his little toy dinosaurs up on his legs. As usual, his rocket was under his arm.

Tony put an arm round Loki’s shoulders. “I love you, you know”

“I know” Loki said. He sighed. “I love you too. I just don’t like you right now”

Tony sighed. “I know”

“Do you remember that song on Oliver and Company that always made him cry?”

“Once Upon A Time In New York City” Tony nodded. “You put that film on when he was in such a bad way. It still makes him cry now. God, it makes me cry too. I honestly don’t know how we got through losing May. Seeing him cry just absolutely destroys me”

“You used to sing to him” Loki said. “When he was crying, you’d just sing to him. Your voice would crack, but you’d just about manage not to cry. Most of the time, anyway”

“We sent him to school way too soon” Tony said. “He wasn’t ready to go to school. He wasn’t ready for any of it. Do you ever think about how it would have worked out if we’d done things differently?”

Loki nodded. “We were both horrible to him at times throughout that year. I was horrible to him before I went on my sabbatical. You were horrible to him while I was away. We made so many mistakes. How could we expect to look after him when we were mourning so heavily too? Yes, we sent him to school too early. We did lots of things too early... It feels like a nightmare, doesn’t it? If you think back properly? God, it was horrendous. He was absolutely destroyed by what happened. We should have forced him to see a therapist straight away. We should have worked through it with him properly, professionally. Maybe things would have been better if we had”

“Maybe. But... Loki, I know we did so much wrong. But we did our best. We were in a horrible place. Like you say; we were mourning too. Both of us still had other commitments too. And then to suddenly have him full time, and for the worst possible reason? We did do our best, I know we did. We tried to keep him fed, and we kept him clean and dressed and we tried to be there for him whenever he needed us. Sure, there’s things we did that we shouldn’t’ve, and we didn’t address everything we should have, and not in the right way. But you know we did our best”

Loki looked at little Peter, who looked so contented and interested, watching the DVD.

“Do you ever think that our best wasn’t good enough?”

“It was all we had, Loki. We did the best that we could under those circumstances. He got better, didn’t he? He’ll never be the person he was before the accident, we know that. But he’s as good as he’s gonna get”

“It makes me feel sick” Loki said. “Thinking about the way he was, the way he was feeling. Doesn’t it you?”

“Loki...”

“I’m serious, Anthony. Just think about it for a minute. Think about him begging on his knees at May’s funeral, begging her not to leave him. Think about how angry he was in the days following, all of that shouting and screaming. Think about those depressing months that followed. Think about the fact that he was in tears far more often than he was out of them. Think about the day we found out what those kids at the first school had done to him. Think about the day he found out about us and May. Think about how scared he was that year. Think about-”

“Stop it” Tony said. “Please, just stop. I know it was horrible, I know it hurts, I know what it was like. But we got through it. It’s done, Loki. All of that is done with. It might have been hell on Earth, but it’s done with now. It’s all in the past. Peter’s better now”

“The toddler doesn’t remember any of that horrible stuff”

“Loki, don’t. You can’t keep saying this stuff. I love the toddler, I really do, but that doesn’t mean we should keep him this way”

“What if I don’t want teenage Peter any more?”

“Don’t say that. You don’t mean that”

“Don’t I?”

“No, you don’t!” Tony hissed. “...Do you remember the song from Tarzan I used to sing to him?”

Tears filled Loki’s eyes, and his face crumpled. He rested his head in his hand, half-covering his face.

“I can’t do this”

Tony held him tighter. “I used to sing it to you, too”

“Don’t do this”

“I love you, Loki. I love both of you so much. You’ve been great with the toddler, but you know we can’t keep him like this. We need to give our teenage son his life back. All the horrible memories, yes, but all the good ones too. Think about him laughing, Loki. Think about his smile, and his jokes, and the way it feels when he wriggles under your arm for a hug. Think about how excited he is when he tells us about his patrols or when he’s been round at one of the Bunnies places. Think about how proud we feel when we see him win his swim competitions... Remember the look on his face when we told him we wanted to adopt him”

Loki turned and buried his face in Tony’s chest. “I can’t let go of this little boy”

“It’s not goodbye. It’s just a flash, and then we’ll have a slightly heavier son to hold. The son we adopted. The one who called us dad first”

“You’ve been dad far longer than I have”

“That doesn’t make him any less your son. You know that” Tony rested his mouth against Loki’s head. 

“You’ve always been his favourite. You always will be”

“He’s still your son too. You’re still daddy Loki... I know you’re scared”

Loki swallowed hard. “We’ve got the chance to give our son a life where he’s happy. This little boy is happy, he’s never been anything but happy. How can you think it’s wrong to give him this chance?”

“Would you give up your life for one where you’ve never been hurt?”

“He’s not giving up anything. He’s still got us”

“What about his friends? Loki, he doesn’t even remember May”

Loki just buried himself further into Tony’s chest and clung to him. Tony held him tight.

“Can I tell you a secret?”

Loki didn’t say anything. Tony took a minute. He sighed, and spoke:

“I’m scared too”

-

Loki waited until Tony was fast asleep, and then snuck into Peter’s room. Much to his surprise, the toddler was awake. He was sat up in bed, holding his rocket in both hands and looking thoughtful.

“Hello, darling” Loki said gently. “Are you ok?”

“I woke up” Peter said. “Do you think daddy will make me a real rocket if I ask him to?”

Loki blinked hard to dry the tears that had welled in his eyes. He was glad of the night light, as the blue glow probably did a good job of hiding his emotions. He sat down on the edge of the bed. 

“It’s late, my darling” he said. “I think you should try to go back to sleep”

“Oh” Peter said. “Ok. Are we going to the park tomorrow?”

Loki swallowed. “We’ll see”

Peter looked at his rocket and set it aside. He held his arms up to Loki.

“Sleepover?”

“What do you mean?” Loki asked, lifting the toddler into his arms and holding him close, breathing in his scent.

“You stay in my room tonight”

“Of course, if that’s what you want”

“Yep” Peter said. “My bed is enormous, so there’s room for you too!”

“So I see. Well then” 

Loki pulled the covers back and climbed into bed. He set little Peter down on his back and gave him his rocket, and then lay down on his side beside him. Peter wriggled closer, pressing his side against Loki’s chest. Loki propped himself up on his elbow, looking down at the boy.

“Comfortable?”

“Mm” Peter nodded, hugging his rocket against his chest. “If we don’t go to the park tomorrow, can we go swimming instead?”

“We’ll see. You need to go to sleep now”

Loki stroked the boys fluffy hair gently. Peter looked up at him, yawning so that his nose wrinkled.

“I think you’re tired” Loki said gently.

He lay down properly, pulling the covers over them and putting an arm round Peter, holding him close. 

“Goodnight, daddy”

“Goodnight, darling”

Peter closed his eyes and soon fell asleep. Loki stayed with him, listening to the soft sounds of him breathing, and stroking his hair and face gently. He could hear the clock ticking on the wall, and it made his heart thump harder still. He felt so sick. He kissed Peter’s cheek gently.

He couldn’t sleep for ages. For a long time he just lay there, holding Peter close, choking back tears, and wishing morning would never come.

*

[grigori77]

2018 in Movies - My Top 30 Fave Movies (Part 1)

30.  MANDY – easily the weirdest shit I saw in 2018, this 2-hour-plus fever dream fantasy horror is essentially an extended prog-rock video with added “plot” from Beyond the Black Rainbow director Panos Cosmatos. Saying that by the end of it I was left feeling exhausted, brain-fried and more than a little weirded-out might not seem like much of a recommendation, but this is, in fact, a truly transformative viewing experience, a film destined for MASSIVE future cult status. Playing like the twisted love-child of David Lynch and Don Coscarelli, it (sort of) tells the story of lumberjack Red Miller (Nicolas Cage) and his illustrator girlfriend Mandy Bloom (Andrea Riseborough), who have an idyllic life in the fantastically fictional Shadow Mountains circa 1983 … at least until Mandy catches the eye of Jeremiah Sand (Linus Roache), the thoroughly insane leader of twisted doomsday cult the Children of the New Dawn, who employs nefarious, supernatural means to acquire her.  But Mandy spurns his advances, leading to a horrific retribution that spurs Red, a traumatised war veteran, to embark on a genuine roaring rampage of revenge.  Largely abandoning plot and motivation for mood, emotion and some seriously trippy visuals, this is an elemental, transcendental film, a series of deeply weird encounters and nightmarish set-pieces that fuel a harrowing descent into a particularly alien, Lovecraftian kind of hell, Cosmatos shepherding in one breathtaking sequence after another with the aid of skilled cinematographer Benjamin Loeb, a deeply inventive design team (clearly drawing inspiration from the artwork of late-70s/early 80s heavy metal albums) and a thoroughly tricked-out epic tone-poem of a score from the late Jôhan Jôhannsson (Sicario, Arrival, Mother!), as well as one seriously game cast.  Cage is definitely on crazy-mode here, initially playing things cool and internalised until the savage beast within is set loose by tragedy, chewing scenery to shreds like there’s no tomorrow, while Riseborough is sweet, gentle and inescapably DOOMED; Roach, meanwhile, is a thoroughly nasty piece of work, an entitled, delusional narcissist thoroughly convinced of his own massive cosmic importance, and there’s interesting support from a raft of talented character actors such as Richard Brake, Ned Dennehy and Bill Duke.  This is some brave, ambitious filmmaking, and a stunning breakthrough for one of the weirdest and most unique talents I’ve stumbled across a good while.  Cosmatos is definitely one to watch.

29.  THE GIRL IN THE SPIDER’S WEB – back in 2011, David Fincher’s adaptation of Stieg Larsson’s runaway bestseller The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo became one of my very favourite screen thrillers EVER, a stone-cold masterpiece and, in my opinion, the superior version of the story even though a very impression Swedish version had broken out in a major way the year before. My love for the film was coloured, however, by frustration at its cinematic underperformance, which meant that Fincher’s planned continuation of the series with Millennium Trilogy sequels The Girl Who Played With Fire and The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest would likely never see the light of day. Even so, the fan in me held out hope, however fragile, that we might just get lucky.  Seven years later, we have FINALLY been rewarded for our patience, but not exactly in the fashion we’ve been hoping for … Fincher’s out, Evil Dead-remake and Don’t Breathe writer-director Fede Alvarez is in, and instead of continuing the saga in the logical place the makers of this new film chose the baffling route of a “soft reboot” via adapting the FOURTH Millennium book, notable for being the one released AFTER Larsson’s death, penned by David Lagercrantz, which is set AFTER the original Trilogy. Thing is, the actually end result, contrary to many opinions, is actually pretty impressive – this is a leaner, more fast-paced affair than its predecessor, a breathless suspense thriller that rattles along at quite a clip as we’re drawn deeper into Larsson’s dark, dangerous and deeply duplicitous world and treating fans to some top-notch action sequences, from a knuckle-whitening tech-savvy car chase to a desperate, bone-crunching fight in a gas-filled room.  Frustratingly, the “original” Lisbeth Salander, Rooney Mara, is absent (despite remaining VERY enthusiastic about returning to the role), but The Crown’s Claire Foy is almost as good – the spiky, acerbic and FIERCELY independent prodigious super-hacker remains as brooding, socially-awkward, emotionally complex and undeniably compelling as ever, the same queen of screen badasses I fell in love with nearly a decade ago.  Her investigative journalist friend/occasional lover Mikael Blomkvist is, annoyingly, less well served – Borg Vs McEnroe star Sverrir Gudnasson is charismatic and certainly easy on the eyes, but he’s FAR too young for the role (seriously, he’s only a week older than I am) and at times winds up getting relegated to passive observer status when he’s not there simply to guide the plot forward; we’re better served by the supporting cast, from Lakeith Stanfield (Get Out, Sorry to Bother You) as a mysterious NSA security expert (I know!) to another surprisingly serious turn (after Logan) from The Office’s Stephen Merchant as the reclusive software designer who created the world-changing computer program that spearheads the film’s convoluted plot, and there’s a fantastically icy performance from Blade Runner 2049’s Sylvia Hoeks as Camilla Salander, Lisbeth’s estranged twin sister and psychopathic head of the Spiders, the powerful criminal network once controlled by their monstrous father (The Hobbit’s Mikael Persbrandt).  The film is far from perfect – the plot kind runs away with the story at times, while several supposedly key characters are given frustratingly little development or screen-time – but Alvarez keeps things moving along with typical skill and precision and maintains a tense, unsettling atmosphere throughout, while there are frequently moments of pure genius on display in the script by Alvarez, his regular collaborator Jay Basu and acclaimed screenwriter Steven Knight (Dirty Pretty Things, Locke) – the original novel wasn’t really all that great, but by just taking the bare bones of the plot and crafting something new and original they’ve improved things considerably.  The finished product thrills and rewards far more than it frustrates, and leaves the series in good shape for continuation.  With a bit of luck this time it might do well enough that we’ll finally get those other two movies to plug the gap between this and Fincher’s “original” …

28.  ISLE OF DOGS – I am a MASSIVE fan of the films of Wes Anderson.  Three share placement in my all-time favourite screen comedies list – Grand Budapest Hotel, The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou and, of course, The Royal Tenebaums (which perches high up in my TOP TEN) – and it’s always a pleasure when a new one comes out.  2009’s singular stop-motion gem Fantastic Mr Fox showed just how much fun his uniquely quirky sense of humour and pleasingly skewed world-view could be when transferred into an animated family film setting, so it’s interesting that it took him nearly a decade to repeat the exercise, but the labour of love is writ large upon this dark and delicious fable of dystopian future Japanese city Megasaki, where an epidemic of “dog flu” prompts totalitarian Mayor Kobayashi (voiced by Kunichi Nomura) to issue an edict banishing all of the city’s canine residents to nearby Trash Island. Six months later, Kobayashi’s nephew Atari (newcomer Koyu Rankin) steals a ridiculously tiny plane and crash-lands on Trash Island, intent on rescuing his exiled bodyguard-dog Spots (Liev Schreiber); needless to say this is easier said than done, unforeseen circumstances leading a wounded Atari to enlist the help of a pack of badass “alpha dogs” voiced by Anderson regulars – Rex (Edward Norton), King (Bob Balaban), Boss (Bill Murray) and Duke (Jeff Goldblum) – and nominally led by crabby, unrepentantly bitey stray Chief (Bryan Cranston), to help him find his lost dog in the dangerous wilds of the island.  Needless to say this is as brilliantly odd as we’ve come to expect from Anderson, a perfectly pitched, richly flavoured concoction of razor sharp wit, meticulously crafted characters and immersive beauty.  The cast are, as always, excellent, from additional regulars such as Frances McDormand, Harvey Keitel and F. Murray Abraham to new voices like Greta Gerwig, Scarlett Johansson, Ken Watanabe and Courtney B. Vance, but the film’s true driving force is Cranston and Rankin, the reluctant but honest relationship that forms between Chief and Atari providing the story with a deep, resonant emotional core.  The first rate animation really helps – the exemplary stop-motion makes the already impressive art of Mr Fox seem clunky and rudimentary (think the first Wallace & Gromit short A Grand Day Out compared to their movie Curse of the Were-Rabbit), each character rendered with such skill they seem to be breathing on their own, and Anderson’s characteristic visual flair is on full display, the Japanese setting lending a rich, exotic tang to the compositions, especially in the deeply inventive environs of Trash Island.  Funny, evocative, heartfelt and fiendishly clever, this is one of those rare screen gems that deserves to be returned to again and again, and it’s definitely another masterpiece from one of the most unique filmmakers working today.

27.  VENOM – when Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man saga came to a rather clunky end back in 2007, it felt like a case of too many villains spoiling the rumble, and it was pretty clear that the inclusion of bad-boy reporter Eddie Brock and his dark alter ego was the straw that broke that particular camel’s back.  Venom didn’t even show up proper until almost three quarters of the way through the movie, by which time it was very much a case of too-little-too-late, and many fans (myself included) resented the decidedly Darth Maul-esque treatment of one of the most iconic members of Marvel’s rogues’ gallery.  It’s taken more than a decade for Marvel to redress the balance, even longer than with Deadpool, and, like with the Merc With a Mouth, they decided the only way was a no-holds-barred, R-rated take that could really let the beast loose. Has it worked?  Well … SORT OF.  In truth, the finished article feels like a bit of a throwback, recalling the pre-MCU days when superhero movies were more about pure entertainment without making us think too much, just good old-fashioned popcorn fodder, but in this case that’s not a bad thing.  It’s big, loud, dumb fun, hardly a masterpiece but it does its job admirably well, and it has one hell of a secret weapon at its disposal – Tom Hardy. PERFECTLY cast as morally ambiguous underdog investigative journalist Eddie Brock, he deploys the kind of endearingly sleazy, shit-eating charm that makes you root for him even when he acts like a monumental prick, while really letting rip with some seriously twitchy, sometimes downright FEROCIOUS unhinged craziness once he becomes the unwilling host for a sentient parasitic alien symbiote with a hunger for living flesh and a seriously bad attitude.  This is EASILY one of the best performances Hardy’s ever delivered, and he entrances us in every scene, whether understated or explosive, making even the most outlandish moments of Brock’s unconventional relationship with Venom seem, if not perfectly acceptable, then at least believable.  He’s ably supported by Michelle Williams as San Francisco district attorney Anne Weying, his increasingly exasperated ex-fiancée, Rogue One’s Riz Ahmed as Carlton Drake, the seemingly idealistic space-exploration-funding philanthropist whose darker ambitions have brought a lethal alien threat to Earth, and Parks & Recreation’s Jenny Slate as Drake’s conflicted head scientist Nora Skirth, while there’s a very fun cameo from a particularly famous face in the now ubiquitous mid-credits sting that promises great things in the future.  Director Ruben Fleischer brought us Zombieland and 30 Minutes Or Less, so he certainly knows how to deliver plenty of blackly comic belly laughs, and he brings plenty of seriously dark humour to the fore, the rating meaning the comedy can get particularly edgy once Venom starts to tear up the town; it also fulfils the Marvel prerequisite of taking its action quota seriously, delivering a series of robust set-pieces (the standout being a spectacular bike chase through the streets of San Fran, made even more memorable by the symbiote’s handy powers). Best of all, the film isn’t afraid to get genuinely scary with some seriously nasty alien-induced moments of icky body horror, captured by some strangely beautiful effects works that brings Venom and his ilk to vivid, terrifying life.  Flawed as it is, this is still HUGE fun, definitely one of the year’s biggest cinematic guilty pleasures, and I for one can’t wait to see more from the character in the near future, which, given what a massive success the film has already proven at the box office, seems an ironclad certainty.

26.  SOLO: A STAR WARS STORY – the second of Disney’s new phase of Star Wars movies to feature in the non-trilogy-based spinoff series had a rough time after its release – despite easily recouping its production budget, it still lost the $100-million+ it spent on advertising, while it was met with extremely mixed reviews and shunned by many hardcore fans.  I’ll admit that I too was initially disappointed with this second quasi prequel to A New Hope (after the MUCH more impressive Rogue One), but a second, more open-minded viewing after a few months to ruminate mellowed my experience considerably, the film significantly growing on me.  An origin story for the Galaxy’s most lovable rogue was always going to be a hard sell – Han Solo is an enjoyable enigma in The Original Trilogy, someone who lives very much in the present, his origins best revealed in the little details we glean about him in passing – but while it’s a flawed creation, this interstellar heist adventure mostly pulls off what was intended.  Like many fans of The Lego Movie, I remain deeply curious about what original director duo Phil Lord and Chris Miller could have achieved with the material, but I wholeheartedly approved Disney’s replacement choice when he was announced – Ron Howard is one of my favourite “hit-and-miss” directors, someone who’s made some clunkers in his time (The Da Vinci Code, we’re looking at you) but can, on a good day, be relied on to deliver something truly special (Willow is one of my VERY FAVOURITE movies from my childhood, one that’s stood up well to the test of time, and a strong comparison point for this; Apollo 13 and Rush, meanwhile, are undeniable MASTERPIECES), and in spite of its shortcomings I’m ultimately willing to consider this one of his successes. Another big step in the right direction was casting Hail, Caesar! star Alden Ehrenreich in the title role – Harrison Ford’s are seriously huge shoes to fill, but this talented young man has largely succeeded.  He may not quite capture that wonderful growling drawl but he definitely got Han’s cocky go-getter swagger right, he’s particularly strong in the film’s more humorous moments, and he has charisma to burn, so he sure makes entertaining viewing.  It also helps that the film has such a strong supporting cast – with original Chewbacca Peter Mayhew getting too old for all this derring-do nonsense, former pro basketball-player Joonas Suotamo gets a little more comfortable in his second gig (after The Last Jedi) in the “walking carpet” suit, while Woody Harrelson adds major star power as Tobias Beckett, Han’s likeably slippery mentor in all things criminal in the Star Wars Universe, and Game of Thrones’ Emilia Clarke is typically excellent as Han’s first love Qi’ra, a fellow Corellian street orphan who’s grown up into a sophisticated thief of MUCH higher calibre than her compatriots.  The film is dominated, however, by two particularly potent scene-stealing turns which make you wonder if it’s really focused on the right rogue’s story – Community star Donald Glover exceeds all expectations as Han’s old “friend” Lando Calrissian, every bit the laconic smoothie he was when he was played by Billy Dee Williams back in the day, while his droid companion L3-37 (voiced with flawless comic skill by British stage and sitcom actress Phoebe Waller-Bridge) frequently walks away with the film entirely, a weirdly flirty and lovably militant campaigner for droid rights whose antics cause a whole heap of trouble.  The main thing the film REALLY lacks is a decent villain – Paul Bettany’s oily kingpin Dryden Voss is distinctive enough to linger in the memory, but has criminally short screen-time and adds little real impact or threat to the main story, only emphasising the film’s gaping, Empire-shaped hole.  Even so, it’s still a ripping yarn, a breathlessly exciting and frequently VERY funny space-hopping crime caper that relishes that wonderful gritty, battered old tech vibe we’ve come to love throughout the series as a whole and certainly delivers on the action stakes – the vertigo-inducing train heist sequence is easily the film’s standout set-piece, but the opening chase and the long-touted Kessel Run impress too – it only flags in the frustrating and surprisingly sombre final act.  The end result still has the MAKINGS of a classic, and there’s no denying it’s also more enjoyable and deep-down SATISFYING than the first two films in George Lucas’ far more clunky Prequel Trilogy.  Rogue One remains the best of the new Star Wars movies so far, but this is nothing like the disappointment it’s been made out to be.

25.  AQUAMAN – the fortunes of the DC Extended Universe cinematic franchise continue to fluctuate – these films may be consistently successful at the box office, but they’re a decidedly mixed bag when it comes to their quality and critical opinion, and the misses still outweigh the hits.  Still, you can’t deny that when they DO do things right, they do them VERY right – 2017’s acclaimed Wonder Woman was a long-overdue validation for the studio, and they’ve got another winner on their hands with this bold, brash, VERY ballsy solo vehicle for one of the things that genuinely WORKED in the so-so Justice League movie.  Jason Momoa isn’t just muscular in the physical sense, once again proving seriously ripped in the performance capacity as he delivers rough, grizzled charm and earthy charisma as half-Atlantean Arthur Curry, called upon to try and win back the royal birthright he once gave up when his half-brother Prince Orm (Watchmen’s Patrick Wilson), ruler of Atlantis, embarks on a brutal quest to unite the seven underwater kingdoms under his command in order to wage war on the surface world.  Aquaman has long been something of an embarrassment for DC Comics, an unintentional “gay joke” endlessly derided by geeks (particularly cuttingly in the likes of The Big Bang Theory), but in Momoa’s capable hands that opinion has already started to shift, and the transition should be complete after this – Arthur Curry is now a swarthy, hard-drinking alpha male tempered with a compellingly relatable edge of deep-seeded vulnerability derived from the inherent tragedy of his origins and separation from the source of his immense superhuman strength, and he’s the perfect flawed action hero for this most epic of superhero blockbusters.  Amber Heard is frequently as domineering a presence as Atlantean princess Mera, a powerful warrior in her own right and fully capable of heading her own standalone adventure someday, and Wilson makes for a very solid and decidedly sympathetic villain whose own motivations can frequently be surprisingly seductive, even if his methods are a good deal more nefarious, while The Get Down’s Yahya Abdul-Mateen II is more down-and-dirty BAD as David Kane, aka the Black Manta, a lethally tech-savvy pirate who has a major score to settle with the Aquaman; there’s also strong support from the likes of Willem Dafoe as Curry’s sage-like mentor Vulko, Dolph Lundgren as Mera’s father, King Nereus, the ever-reliable Temuera Morrison as Arthur’s father Thomas, and Nicole Kidman as his ill-fated mother Atlanna.  Director James Wan is best known for establishing horror franchises (Saw, Insidious, The Conjuring), but he showed he could do blockbuster action cinema with Fast & Furious 7, and he’s improved significantly with this, delivering one gigantic action sequence after another with consummate skill and flair as well as performing some magnificent and extremely elegant world-building, unveiling dazzling, opulent and exotic undersea civilizations that are the equal to the forests of Pandora in Avatar, but he also gets to let some of his darker impulses show here and there, particularly in a genuinely scary visit to the hellish world of the Trench and its monstrous denizens.  It may not be QUITE as impressive as Wonder Woman, and it still suffers (albeit only a little bit) from the seemingly inherent flaws of the DCEU franchise as a whole (particularly in yet another overblown CGI-cluttered climax), but this is still another big step back in the right direction, one which, once again, we can only hope they’ll continue to repeat.  I’ll admit that the next offering, Shazam, doesn’t fill me with much confidence, but you never know, it could surprise us.  And there’s still Flashpoint, The Batman and Birds of Prey to come …

24.  THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING, MISSOURI – filmmaker brothers Martin and John Michael McDonagh have carved an impressive niche in cinematic comedy this past decade, from decidedly Irish breakout early works (In Bruges from Martin and The Guard and Calvary from John) to enjoyable outsider-looking-in American crim-coms (Martin’s Seven Psychopaths and John’s War On Everyone), and so far they’ve all had one thing in common – they’re all BRILLIANT.  But Martin looks set to be the first brother to be truly accepted into Hollywood Proper, with his latest feature garnering universal acclaim, massive box office and heavyweight Awards recognition, snagging an impressive SEVEN Oscar nominations and taking home two, as well as landing a Golden Globe and BAFTA for Best Picture.  It’s also the most thoroughly AMERICAN McDonagh film to date, and this is no bad thing, Martin shedding his decidedly Celtic flavours for an edgier Redneck charm that perfectly suits the material … but most important of all, from a purely critical point of view this could be the very BEST film either of the brothers has made to date.  It’s as blackly comic and dark-of-soul as we’d expect from the creator of In Bruges, but there’s real heart and tenderness hidden amongst the expletive-riddled, barbed razor wit and mercilessly observed, frequently lamentable character beats.  Frances McDormand thoroughly deserved her Oscar win for her magnificent performance as Mildred Hayes, a take-no-shit shopkeeper in the titular town whose unbridled grief over the brutal rape and murder of her daughter Angela (Kathryn Newton) has been exacerbated by the seeming inability of the local police force to solve the crime, leading her to hire the ongoing use of a trio of billboards laying the blame squarely at the feet of popular, long-standing local police Chief Bill Willoughby (Woody Harrelson). Needless to say this kicks up quite the shitstorm in the town, but Mildred stands resolute in the face of seemingly overwhelming odds, refusing to back down.  McDormand has never been better – Mildred is a foul-mouthed, opinionated harpy who tells it like it is, no matter who she’s talking to, but there’s understandable pain driving her actions, and a surprisingly tender heart beating under all that thorniness; Harrelson, meanwhile, is by turns a gruff shit-kicker and a gentle, doting family man, silently suffering over his own helplessness with the dead end the case seems to have turned into.  The film’s other Oscar-winner, Sam Rockwell, also delivers his finest performance to date as Officer Jason Dixon, a true disgrace of a cop whose permanent drunkenness has marred a career which, it turns out, began with some promise; he’s a thuggish force-of-nature, Mildred’s decidedly ineffectual nemesis whose own equally foul-mouthed honesty is set to dump him in trouble big time, but again there’s a deeply buried vein of well-meaning ambition under all the bigotry and pigheadedness we can’t help rooting for once it reveals itself.  There’s strong support from some serious heavyweights, particularly John Hawkes, Caleb Landry Jones, Peter Dinklage, Abbie Cornish and Manchester By the Sea’s breakout star Lucas Hedges, while McDonagh deserves every lick of acclaim and recognition he’s received for his precision-engineered screenplay, peerless direction and crisp, biting dialogue, crafting a jet black comedy nonetheless packed with so much emotional heft that it’ll have you laughing your arse off but crying your eyes out just as hard.  An honest, unapologetic winner, then.

23.  RED SPARROW – just when you thought we’d seen the last of the powerhouse blockbuster team of director Francis Lawrence and star Jennifer Lawrence with the end of The Hunger Games, they reunite for this far more adult literary feature, bringing Jason Matthews’ labyrinthine spy novel to bloody life.  Adapted by Revolutionary Road screenwriter Justin Haythe, it follows the journey of Russian star ballerina Dominika Egorova (Lawrence) into the shadowy world of post-Glasnost Russian Intelligence after an on-stage accident ruins her career.  Trained to use her body and mind to seduce her targets, Dominika becomes a “Sparrow”, dispatched to Budapest to entrap disgraced CIA operative Nate Nash (Joel Edgerton) and discover the identity of the deep cover double agent in Moscow he was forced to burn his own cover to protect.  But Dominika never wanted any of this, and she begins to plot her escape, no matter the risks … as we’ve come to expect, Jennifer Lawrence is magnificent, her glacial beauty concealing a fierce intelligence and deeply guarded desperation to get out, her innate sensuality rendered clinical by the raw, unflinching gratuity of her training and seduction scenes – this is a woman who uses ALL the weapons at her disposal to get what she needs, and it’s an icy professionalism that informs and somewhat forgives Lawrence’s relative lack of chemistry with Edgerton.  Not that it’s his fault – Nate is nearly as compelling a protagonist as Dominika, a roguish chancer whose impulsiveness could prove his undoing, but also makes him likeable and charming enough for us to root for him too.  Bullhead’s Matthias Schoenarts is on top form as the film’s nominal villain, Dominika’s uncle Ivan, the man who trapped her in this hell in the first place, Charlotte Rampling is beyond cold as the “Matron”, the cruel headmistress of the Sparrow School, Joely Richardson is probably the gentlest, purest ray of light in the film as Dominika’s ailing mother Nina, and Jeremy Irons radiates stately gravitas as high-ranking intelligence officer General Vladimir Andreievich Korchnoi.  This is a tightly-paced, piano wire-taut thriller with a suitably twisty plot that constantly wrong-foots the viewer, Lawrence the director again showing consummate skill at weaving flawlessly effective narrative with scenes of such unbearable tension you’ll find yourself perched on the edge of your seat throughout.  It’s a much less explosive film than we’re used to from him – most of the fireworks are of the acting variety – but there are moments when the tension snaps, always with bloody consequences, especially in the film’s standout sequence featuring a garrotte-driven interrogation that turns particularly messy.  The end result is a dark thriller of almost unbearable potency that you can’t take your eyes off.  Here’s hoping this isn’t the last time Lawrence & Lawrence work together …

22.  WIDOWS – Steve McQueen is one of the most challenging writer-directors working in Hollywood today, having exploded onto the scene with hard-hitting IRA-prison-biopic Hunger and subsequently adding to his solid cache of acclaimed works with Shame and 12 Years a Slave, but there’s a strong argument to be made that THIS is his best film to date. Co-adapted from a cult TV-series from British thriller queen Lynda La Plante by Gone Girl and Sharp Objects-author Gillian Flynn, it follows a group of women forced to band together to plan and execute a robbery in order to pay off the perceived debt incurred by their late husbands, who died trying to steal $2 million from Jamal Manning (If Beale Street Could Talk’s Brian Tyree Henry), a Chicago crime boss with ambitions to go legit as alderman of the city’s South Side Precinct.  Viola Davis dominates the film as Veronica Rawlings, the educated and fiercely independent wife of accomplished professional thief Harry (a small but potent turn from Liam Neeson), setting the screen alight with a barely restrained and searing portrayal of devastating grief and righteous anger, and is ably supported by a trio of equally overwhelming performances from Michelle Rodriguez as hard-pressed mother and small-businesswoman Linda Perelli, The Man From UNCLE’s Elizabeth Debicki as Alice Gunner, an abused widow struggling to find her place in the world now she’s been cut off from her only support-mechanism, and Bad Times At the El Royale’s Cynthia Eriyo as Belle, the tough, gutsy beautician/babysitter the trio enlist to help them once they realise they need a fourth member.  Henry is a deceptively subtle, thoroughly threatening presence throughout the film as Manning, as is Get Out’s Daniel Kaluuya as his thuggish brother/lieutenant Jatemme, and Colin Farrell is seemingly decent but ultimately fatally flawed as his direct political rival, reigning alderman Jack Mulligan, while there are uniformly excellent supporting turns from the likes of Robert Duvall, Carrie Coon, Lukas Haas, Jon Bernthal and Kevin J. O’Connor.  McQueen once again delivers an emotionally exhausting and effortlessly powerful tour-de-force, wringing out the maximum amount of feels from the loaded and deeply personal human interactions on display throughout, and once again proves just as effective at delivering on the emotional fireworks as he is in stirring our blood in some brutal set-pieces, while Flynn help to deliver another perfectly pitched, intricately crafted script packed with exquisite dialogue and shrewdly observed character work which is sure to net her some major wins come Awards season.  Unflinching and devastating but thoroughly exhilarating, this is an extraordinary film (and if this was a purely critical list it would surely have placed A LOT higher), thoroughly deserving of every bit of praise, attention and success it has and will go on to garner.  An absolute must-see.

21.  JURASSIC WORLD: FALLEN KINGDOM – Colin Trevorrow’s long-awaited 2015 Jurassic Park sequel was a major shot in the arm for a killer blockbuster franchise that had been somewhat flagging since Steven Spielberg brought dinosaurs back to life for the second time, but (edgier tone aside) it was not quite the full-on game-changer some thought it would be.  The fifth film, directed by J.A. Bayona (The Impossible, A Monster Calls) and written by Trevorrow and his regular script-partner Derek Connolly (Safety Not Guaranteed and JW, as well as Warner Bros’ recent “Monsterverse” landmark Kong: Skull Island), redresses the balance – while the first act of the film once again returns to the Costa Rican island of Isla Nublar, it’s become a very different environment from the one we’ve so far experienced, and a fiendish plot-twist means the film then takes a major swerve into MUCH darker territory than we’ve seen so far.  Giving away anything more does a disservice to the series’ most interesting story to date, needless to say this is EASILY the franchise’s strongest feature since the first, and definitely the scariest.  Hollywood’s most unusual everyman action hero, Chris Pratt, returns as raptor wrangler Owen Brady, enlisted to help rescue as many dinosaurs as possible from an impending, cataclysmic volcanic eruption, but in particular his deeply impressive trained raptor Blue, now the last of her kind; Bryce Dallas Howard is also back as former Jurassic World operations manager turned eco-campaigner Claire Dearing, and her His Girl Friday-style dynamic with Pratt’s Brady is brought to life with far greater success here, their chemistry far more convincing because Claire has become a much more well-rounded and believably tough lady, now pretty much his respective equal.  There are also strong supporting turns from the likes of Rafe Spall, The Get Down’s Justice Smith, The Vampire Diaries/The Originals’ breakout star Daniella Pineda, the incomparable Ted Levine (particularly memorable as scummy mercenary Ken Wheatley) and genuine screen legend James Cromwell, but as usual the film’s true stars are the dinosaurs themselves – it’s a real pleasure seeing Blue return because the last velociraptor was an absolute treat in Jurassic World, but she’s clearly met her match in this film’s new Big Bad, the Indoraptor, a lethally monstrous hybrid cooked up in Ingen’s labs as a living weapon.  Bayona cut his teeth on breakout feature The Orphanage, so he’s got major cred as an accomplished horror director, and he uses that impressive talent to great effect here, weaving an increasingly potent atmosphere of wire-taut dread and delivering some nerve-shredding set-pieces, particularly the intense and moody extended stalk-and-kill stretch that brings the final act to its knuckle-whitening climax.  It’s not just scary, though – there’s still plenty of that good old fashioned wonder and savage beauty we’ve come to expect from the series, and another hefty dose of that characteristic Spielbergian humour (Pratt in particular shines in another goofy, self-deprecating turn, while Smith steals many of the film’s biggest laughs as twitchy, out-of-his-comfort-zone tech wizard Franklin).  Throw in another stirring and epic John Williams-channelling score from Michael Giacchino and this is an all-round treat for the franchise faithful and blockbuster fans in general – EASILY the best shape the series has been in for some time, it shows HUGE promise for the future.

[okb-hpolitburo]

NEMISIS: SERIES ANNOUNCED

Good evening and welcome to the Politburo! I am your host, Komandir Pera, and this is OKB-H Productions, home to Studio ROUX, the company responsible for creating NEMISIS! More on that in a sec.

So what will you expect to find here?

I (at the time of writing) have just finished High School and am looking to embark on a quest to create the next great animation! For a long time, I’ve grown up with many classic examples of animation from both East and West, whether it be made by Communists, Imperialists, Fascists and Capitalists. All have their good spots, and bad, and meh, but still try nonetheless.

Some examples I am quite fond of, in no particular order;

Japan:

Cowboy Bebop Gurren Laggan Black Lagoon One Piece Hellsing Berserk Astro Boy Akira Vampire Hunter D Samurai Champloo

North America: The Adventures of Tintin (Canada) Fleischer Studios ‘Superman’ (USA) Gumby (USA) Batman: The Animated Series (USA) Batman: Under The Red Hood (USA) Robot Chicken (USA) Aqua Teen Hunger Force (USA)

Europe:

Thunderbirds (UK) Captain Scarlet & The Mysterons (UK) Thomas The Tank Engine And Friends (UK) TUGS (UK) Wallace And Gromit (UK) Morph (UK) When The Wind Blows (UK) Gorillaz (UK) Danger Mouse (UK) Count Duckula (UK) Avenger Penguins (UK) Wind In The Willows (UK; 1983-90 Version) Corto Maltese (Italian/French; Early 2000s)

Plus several others that are on the tip of my tongue. I am a notorious scatterbrain after all. Judging by the content you see in each of these shows, you can see a bit of a pattern here. So now the question…

What is NEMISIS?

Nemisis is a project I’ve been working on since 2015. It originally started out as a novel, but several revisions and a busted USB stick later, I gave it up, perhaps confining its characters to the many drawings I had made of them (too crude to be called ‘Concept Art’)

The novel, which was to be the first of a series, crashed late 2017. By that time, I had lost much hope and slunk into a deep depression… When it hit me. Why not put those drawings to use and animate it instead?

In the wake of me not being a very good artist, I instead decided to opt for a fascinating field of animation that is scarcely touched nowadays; Stop-Motion. Upon learning of a sub-culture of people who collect/make anime-styled figures called Ball Jointed Dolls, I decided that 3D Printing the different body parts and putting them together like a garage kit would be very much in keeping with another lost art in filmaking: Modelmaking.

That’s where the majority of the British shows mentioned come in. Tunderbirds is what I consider to be the Grandfather of them all, using ingenious methods of several differing crafts to create awe-inspiring visuals for epic storylines. Many of the shows downwards from Thunderbirds are either connected to it or inspired by it in some way. And watching Captain Scarlet for the first time definitely put more confidence into myself for such a project. However, unlike the use of string puppetry, the characters will be stop-motion animated.

The Americans always fascinated me with some art styles, but it’s the storytelling of some of the darker shows that partially inspired the plot of Nemisis. Comic Books have had a big hand too, with dynamic characters and vibrant artwork. One of my favourite writers for comic books is usually Alan Moore, of The Watchman fame. Another is Frank Miller of The Dark Knight Returns, one of my favourite spins on the story of Batman. Paul Dini’s work on the Batman cartoons of the 1990s followed by in several comic one-shots, animated specials and even the Arkham Games have also earnt my awe.

Worldbuilding is another hobby of mine, which manifested itself in NEMISIS, and I had quite the talent for it without even realising it. I gained a lot of inspiration from Herge’s Tintin comics, King Ottokar’s Sceptre being one of my all time favourite stories due to its contemporary political themes, the quality worldbuilding and the artwork. But then who DOESN’T love Tintin? And yes, I know he’s Belgian. I just listed the show from the 90s that was made in Canada.

The Japanese have always made me go wild with excitement in some of their best anime with high-quality visuals, the rare storytelling masterpiece not seen in most anime, and, of course, the action.

Therefore, I decided to set out and create a long-running animated series with:

-The ingenuity of British engineering and humour

-The Boldness of American storytelling

-The elaborate worldbuilding of Herge in particular, but not restricted to

-And the flair, art style and intense action of Japanese works.

Finally, I will add my own twist; My interest in the Cold War. I am also a History Student, and seek to combine two of my greatest interests into one whole.

On here, I will be posting Concept Art of Characters with a little bit of info for each, along with announcements, updates and some other goodies.

Hope this made for interesting reading.

Yours faithfully,

Komandir Pera

[louienardini-blog]

Modern Stop Motion (Part 1): Thinking Outside the Box

Stop motion evolved a lot in the turn of the 20th century. Before you would see the development from physical devices and then onto film. With some of the basic techniques presented by Blackton’s works. But this is where stop motion really began. Where the medium would start to experiment using different materials and pushing the boundaries of what was possible with stop motion. These are some of the classics:

“The Lost World” (1925), was a big move in stop motion, especially since it was the dawn of famous stop motion mastermind Wills O’Brien. Mostly known for his special effects on “King Kong” (1933) (for King Kong himself); “The Lost World” was his first work on a feature length film –  reaching 68 minutes long. This was also the first feature length film to include stop motion, paving the way for fully stop motion films that you see today like “Isle of Dogs” (2018) and “Fantastic Mr. Fox” (2009).

Wills also had to create 49 dinosaurs for this film, each of them animated frame by frame. By slowly moving the model’s position. Which is a clear influence from “The Humpty Dumpty Circus”, that used puppets and moved them frame by frame to create the illusion of movement. Wills moved the dinosaurs by putting a metal endoskeleton inside of it. Allowing him to move a part of their body and stay in that position to take one frame, then move another part to take another frame. From the clip below of this film, you can see that set is similar to what you would see in the prehistoric times, and the fluent movements Wills made of the dinosaurs, created a set and atmosphere like no other at the time. This film is classified as a “U”, so it’s targeted at everyone. And since it’s called “The Lost World”, it must be based of Arthur Conan Doyle’s novel of the same (written in 1912). Therefore, this film must be trying to target people who are fans of the source material. Again just like the previous Blackton films, it still doesn’t include sound. This film makes up for that by displaying text on the screen. The video below is a clip of the stop motion dinosaurs moving around and attacking.

While not the first cartoon ever made, Walt Disney’s “Steamboat Willie” (1927) (featuring the well-known mascot “Mickey Mouse”), was probably the most revolutionary cartoon in stop motion. From evaluation I’ve found that there are always lots of things moving/going on in screen; characters are constantly speeding up and slowing down; there’s lots of sound effects for nearly everything. For example, when Mickey was banging on the barrel and the pans. You have his tail moving, both of this arms moving, the duck moving its head, and the barrel and pans reacting to Mickey hitting them – all of these were happening at the same time. There are also a lot of sound effects accompanied with the visuals, bringing more realism and making the comedic parts funnier. Like the already mentioned pans being hit, making a banging noise that’s in tune with song. With the wackiness of this cartoon, it’s intent was probably to entertain children. However, it does have some flaws in the animation. For example, when the parrot is laughing, they repeat the same number of frames for a bit too long. Just like with the films previous, they created a moving image by putting stills next to each other to play continuously, to create the illusion of movement. But instead of using objects, everything is drawn, so it improves upon that atmosphere I was talking about previously with “The Lost World”, since this time it’s not just the dinosaurs that are stop motion focus – with “Steamboat Willie” everything on screen is stop motion. Making this even more creative than the previous, and more true to what people know of stop motion today. This is a video clip of the short from YouTube, please click on the link to watch more of Walt Disney’s old influential cartoons. Including the great and influential “Plane Crazy” (1928) and “Skeleton Dance” (1929). 

Stop motion would still try to experiment with what materials they could put into their work to make it more creative and unique. And some of the biggest showcases of this was with George Pal’s “Puppetoons” (1932) and Art Clokey’s “Gumby” (1955). The first one uses colourful puppets, and tried to create a very complicated and time consuming technique to create more fluent animation then what was previous. George pioneered replacement animation by swapping their heads (or other parts of the puppet’s body), with similar looking heads but with different mouths – to give the illusion that they are talking or reacting to their surroundings. This is time consuming because it requires painting every individual head, but ones they’ve been painted, they can be re-used over and over again. From evaluating George’s work, this is very influential because it’s showing more of the time consuming nature that stop motion is known for today. Furthermore, this is also aimed at kids, since they are childish-looking puppets that are very colourful. With the purpose of entertaining them, which it does so successfully, since the technique brings the still puppets to life, better than what “The Humpty Dumpty Circus” could achieve, but still an obvious influence. Which shows that stop motion would only get better and better as time goes on. This is also the first instance where stop motion is in colour (unless you count the Phenikistoscope – but this time it’s in film). The addition of colour allows to appeal to its audience of children much more effectively, then previously. Since the characters stand out more, which would grab the children’s attention instantly. It also adds a new dimension to the characters and the setting, since it shows more of the world George wanted to create. Below is a picture of George and his puppets.

The other example I mentioned was “Gumby”, which uses Claymation. Evaluating this, I think that’s it’s an even bigger step forward for stop motion than “Puppetoons”. Since with clay, you are not restricted by model’s bodies, meaning that you can sculpt the clay models in any way you please. This opened the doors to endless possibilities with Claymation, since artists can fulfil any visions with limited restrictions. While “Gumby” doesn’t take it to the extreme like Claymation works would prove to achieve later on with “Wallace and Gromit”, it still shows great creativity. For example, in the “Gumby” episode “Moon Trip”, the flying object (at 2:05 on the video), nearly hits two clay characters. The characters become “pancake-like” to avoid hitting it. The requires changing the objects shape, which shows the possibilities they can do with Claymation – put their models in any position that they want. 

[britishchick09]

sherlock ep 3 the great game livewatch

since i did a live-re-watch of ep 1 and a re/new livewatch of ep 2, i figured i’d finish off the season! i’ve never seen this one, so it’s the first totally new livewatch of the year! :D

ooh spooky beginning!

sherlock is talking to a guy for a case why in an old school tho?

omg sherlock keeps correcting this guy’s grammar lol :D

the guy will get hung for it (sorry hanged) is this victorian england

dramatic intro strikes again!

YO GUN SHOTS WUT

sherlock just chillin

AND SHOOTING WTF LOCKIE

SMILEY FACE!!!!!

john: “what the hell are you doing??” SAME WTF MR HOLMES

he’s shooting because he’s BORED OMG SHERLOCK LOL

omg john almost said the f word :o

WHY IS THERE A SEVERED HEAD IN THE FRIDGE

ooh they referenced ep one’s title in john’s blog post!!!

does that mean john comes up with the ep titles coolio :D

sherlock doesn’t like it tho :/

he deletes things he doesn’t care about like the earth going around the sun woah sherlock computer! :o

sherlock just said ‘hard drive’ epic B)

sherlock: “UGH HELL, WHAT DOES THAT MATTER?? so we go around the sun or we go around the moon round and round the garden like a teddy bear IT WOULDN’T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE!” ...teddy bear?

oh hey mrs hudson

awww she called their argument ‘a little domestic’ :)

let me guess sherlock hates the quiet peaceful world

RIGHT!!!

MRS HUDSON SAID ‘BLOODY’ OMG

and she’s putting the smiley face on the rent ‘young man’ :/

OMG WHAT THE FRICK EXPLOSION

hey is that sarah cool! :D

oh crap THE FLAT EXPLODED!!!!!

WTF DID SHERLOCK DO????

i thought this would happen in like s4 since that’s super dark not s1!!!!

lol sherlock’s just plucking his violin like nothing happened :D

yo is that moiarty mycroft?

ok this is his bro so according to google it’s... mycroft!

mycroft: “a case like this would require... ‘leg work’” ...leg work?

in my holmes inspired series the sherlock and mycroft characters hate each others guts and act like children around each other so it’s good to see that these bros just act cold and keep correcting each other

mycroft: “your business seems to be booming, ever since you and sherlock became.. ‘pals’’ johnlock shippers be like: ;)

mycroft wondered if it was hellish and my holmes character describes his bro as hellish COINCIDENCE I THINK TOTALLY!!! :o

the plans were on a ‘memory stick’ does mycroft mean ‘usb’?

sherlock putting rosin on his bow during the conversation tho ♥

mycroft: “you need to find those plans, sherlock. don’t make me order you” wowoza older bro much?

is sherlock badly playing his violin to test it or to kick mycroft out faster lol :D

this is probably benedict cumberbatch really playing because he didn’t take violin lessons until s2 i think and even then there was an overdub!

OMG I JUST REALIZED I’VE BEEN SPELLING HIS NAME AS BENNEDICT WHY

sherlock: “i’d be lost without my blogger” aww he really does like the posts! ♥ also major johnlock squee there

sherlock likes the ‘funny cases’ ;)

hey is that lestrade cool he’s back

the first thing sherlock says while reading the letter is ‘nice stationary’

john: “that’s the pink phone!” guy: “from the study in pink!” sherlock: “you read his blog?” lestrade: “of course we all do!” awwww :D

everyone’s snickering at sherlock not believing the ‘earth sun’ theory lol :D

ooh a warning! :o

john: “hold on, what’s gonna happen again?” sherlock: “BOOM!” bada bing, bada... B O O M!!!”

mrs hudson can’t get anyone interested in the flat aww :(

some weird lady’s calling what

SHE JUST SAID ‘STUPID BISH’ WOAHHHH

woah she was a hostage??

sherlock wants john to delete 8 mycroft texts lol :D

sherlock sarcastically called john ‘doctor’ lol :D

molly: “why did you say ‘gay’? we’re together!“ WAIT DID SHERLOCK JUST SAY THAT?? JOHNLOCK SQUEEE!!!!! also sherlock is aromantic sorry molly :/

molly: “he’s not gay!!” woah john much?

also that was about  her bf sorry johnlock shippers :/

sherlock says his makeup and underwear peeking out make the guy gay RUDE MUCH LOCKIE??

john: “that wasn’t kind” yeah LOCKIE

john: *figures out who the shoes belong to* how did i do?” sherlock: “well, john, really well! i mean, you missed almost everything important” lol :D

sherlock is great at finding out things props to him :D

the shoes were bought 20 years ago just like su lin!

sherlock: “a child with big feet-“ you mean senpai lol

1989 is 21 years ago here wowza :o

oh no the kid had a fit in a pool and died :(

someone stole his shoes! :o

aww john wants to help :)

mycroft is texting john now lol :D

john: “it’s of national importance.” sherlock: “how quaint.” john: “what is?” sherlock: “you are” :)

john is wearing a suit to see mycroft how quaint ♥

john: “he’s investigating now. investigating away” that’s sherlock for ya :D

mycroft knows it all just like sherlock what bros they are! :D

oh no the kid had poison! :o

it’s cool how a 21 year old mystery could tie into a bomb from a day ago :D

NO IT’S CRYING LADY AGAIN

she lives in cornwall camilla who

ooh pager! :D

sherlock is bored WHY

OH GREAT IT’S THE ‘FREAK’ LADY FROM EP 1 UGHHHH

oh no another mystery caller!

sherlock guessed he’s ‘stealing another voice’ ooh :o

aww they showed the guy he’s crying :(

they have 9 hours to solve the puzzle!

sherlock is faking being super sad to get info from this lady oh lockie!

random lady: “fishing! try fishing!” john’s reaction tho :D (this is like ‘daang that’s rad!’ but not as funny)

sherlock says ‘mazda’ weird but it’s cool :D

sherlock: “you’re very helpful” ...he’s not

sherlock: “mr. hewitt’s a liar” SEE I WAS RIGHT!!!

the drops in the lab look like the intro :D

phone guy: “we were made for each other, sherlock” woah woah YOU’RE NOT JOHN

ooh the blood was frozen :o

the way lestrade says ‘columbia?‘ is funny :D

the case is solved yet we’re only 37 minutes into the ep hmm....

sherlock: “i am on fire!” YAS LOCKIE!!! :D

great another call...

why is this guy constantly crying WHO HURT YOU SIR?

a restaurant scene... ep 1 was queerbaiting, ep 2 was stereotyping and this one is... SHERLOCK EATING??? :o

epic 2010 smartphone ;)

john: “lucky for you mrs hudson and i watch too much telly” yas john!!! :D

CRYING LADY SAID ‘BISH’ AGAIN

12 hours now WHO ARE THESE PEEPS AND WHY ARE THERE TIME LIMITS

throughout the scene there’s a snoring sound... is someone sleeping in the afternoon??

a dead 54 actress died 2 days ago... connection?

she cut her hand on a rusty nail dean from supernatural who

sherlock: “goodnight vienna!” *ringo voice* ♫ na na na na na na goodnight viennaaa!!!!!!! ♫ :D

lockie’s mind is racing again!!

john’s dr skills and sherlock’s mind are perfect for this :D

sherlock: “do you want to help?” john: “of course!” ♥

lestrade: “tell me, what are we dealing with?” sherlock: “...something new’ ;)

ughhhh her again!! THREE HOURS HAS IT EVEN BEEN 12 YET???

awww kitty!!!! ♥

the kitty is so loud and cute awww :)

the tv lady taught mrs hudson how to do ‘colors’ aww :)

sherlock went to fan sites for the show coolio :D

...omg what if there are fan sites for him and people ship johnlock in the show besides mrs hudson :o

awwww kittyyyy!!!!! :D

john thinks the lady got tetanus because of the cat NOT THE KITTY!!!

so are the shoe kid, tv lady and creepy phone people connected?

the phone people are bombers so at least that’s a connection

great the phone lady wants help UGHH

she’s telling sherlock things about the guy GIVE THE ADDRESS LADY!!!

wait was that a gunshot

it was another gas leak explosion! :o

the bomber killed the lady oooohh :o

sherlock: “heroes don’t exist and wouldn’t be one of them” oh but you are lockie ;)

sherlock: “you SEE you just don’t observe!” john: “okay, okay, girls calm down!!” GIRLS OMG LOL :D

sherlock: “you’ll never find him (some guy named gollem). but i know a man who can” lestrade: “who?” sherlock: “...me.” ;)

lady: “any change for a cup of tea?” sherlock: *gives her fifty* wowza what a generous lockie!

onto part 2!

the lady said a message was left ‘on the landline’ how 21st century of you...?

other lady: “am i supposed to be impressed?/” this is sherlock holmes we’re talking about here lady

lady 3: “we were having a night in...” *wallace and gromit intensities*

joe: “are you the police?” john: “sort of” he’s a consulting detective assistant thank you very much :)

sherlock sure likes giving lots of change to people in need :)

and he said earlier he doesn’t care about people unless it involves the case!

aww moonlight walk ♥

they’re in the tunnels like the netflix pic! :D

i wonder if this inspired that pic...

YO THEY BE RUNNING

the lady is watching a show on jupiter a gas planet hmmm...

she just wants neptune :D (i know her fave sailor senshi...)

OH NO SHE DED!

the tape is going backwards it’s so weird

OMG IT BE GOLLEM!!!

john: “let go or i will kill you” oooohhh gollem’s in trouble...

yo wtf is going on

SHERLOCK SHOT

who is this fancy french lady

sherlock s n a p !

the painting is a fake and that’s why she was killed?

some kid is counting down WHO ART THOU SMOL ONE???

sherlock: “shut up it only works if i figure it out!” yeah that’s true

aaand it worked!

the planet film helped sherlock discover the nova in the painting coolio :D

the mystery kid needs help! but where is he...

i still have no idea what’s going on tho it all went by so fast!

is this new french lady the one behind everything?

THE WHISPERS ARE MOIARTY OH FRICK

lockie be like ‘oh god...’ i’d be the same way if my mortal enemy was behind the case

why is john talking about strawberry jam with lestrade

oh it’s blood?

cool lifejackets :D

a wild sherlock appears!

is memory stick british slang for usb or just a holmes bro quirk because sherlock said it too

sherlock just broke into someone’s flat lol

and their last name is harrison... george much? ;)

so harrison stole the memory stick and gollem put in the bomb, moiarty hiring them both and having creepy people call sherlock and kill the tv lady, the guard at the gallery with the nova painting and maybe the shoe kid? is that how all this is connected?

john: “i’m not the world’s only consulting detective” aww he considers himself one too instead of just an assistant! :D

HOLD UP there’s a pool... is this the infamous tackle scene from the sarah z tjlc vid?

john is wearing a big coat hmm...

this is the pool where the kid died CONNECTION!!!!

oh no is this the calling guy

why does he sound like a silly american

YO he’s an american pulling off a brit accent

MOIARTYYYYY

moiarty: “jim moiarty! hiiii!!!” lol :D

plz shoot him sherlock this guy sounds so stupid

DID SHERLOCK JUST CALL HIM ‘DEAR JIM’??

the near fake kiss in that one ep makes sense now

moiarty in a sing-songy voice: “daddy’s had enough nowww!!!!’ DADDY WHAT

moiarty said gay :o

he just called sherlock ‘johnny boy’ why

AND HE SAID ‘borr-ing!!!’ OMG MOIARTY WHYYYY

i already hate moiarty so much but his lines are so funny what a villian!

sherlock: “what if i were to shoot you right now?” please do lockie

sherlock: “catch... you... later.” moiarty: “no you won’t!!! :D”

sherlock took off the jacket was that the scene?

john: “you ripping off my clothes in a darkened swimming pool...” THAT’S THE SCENE OMG JOHNLOCKERS ARE SQUEEING!!!!

omg moiarty’s back how stupid

SHOOT HIM LOCKIE PLZ

the music is intensifying...

LOCKIEEEEEEE......

and it ended!! i’m guessing sherlock doesn’t shoot moiarty which is a bummer but hey at least we’ll get more lols next season with them! :D

this was a great season finale! the beginning was wild and it got crazier from there. this is my least fave ep so far, but i still really liked it for how insane it was (and that kitty/moiarty lols!). it took 4 years to reach the end of s1, but it was well worth the wait! :D

[somecynicalanimator]

Module - Showreel and Engagement

Industry Scoping Document

Over the course of this project, I have been looking at different animation studios and trying to decide which ones I would be interested in working for once I graduate, with studios that interest me leading to greater research. I viewed a lot of showreels from different companies to sample their work, such as Factory Create, Fuzzy Duck studio, Flipbook Studio, Studio Liddell, Studio AKA, and others. These are the studios that caught my interest the most. The companies I looked at largely fit with my specialism, 2-D animation/storyboarding,  with some opportunities for mixed media that would utilise my 3-D animation skills too. Other aspects of a studio’s output was taken into consideration, such as how my video editing skills could apply to studios that also function as editing agencies. But my primary goal with my choices here was to pick companies that would enable me to create storyboards and/or 2-D animation.

Bearded Fellows

Bearded Fellows Creative Agency is an animation production and video editing studio based in Bridgeworks, Manchester city centre. Watching showreels of their work, I have found that their work mostly consists of one half 2-D and 3-D animation, other half live action video editing. Many of their pieces of work are commissioned by companies as advertisements, explainer videos, educational videos, etc. Although they do produce a number of different types of stories too. The audience for their work varies from project to project, however given that they often work on advertisements, they tend to stick for general audiences, or at least the broadest audience possible. One potentially contact I found via LinkedIn was Mathew Stanners, who is a co-founder of the company and who has sat in on lectures at our university before, which I attended. When producing portfolio work to show to this company, I would have to demonstrate via my work the ability to create a forward-facing piece of work that can appeal to its intended audience. Based upon the showreels I have seen, I think the skills that would be most desired by this studio is 2-D animation, such as Toon Boom Harmony, and After Effects, given that most of their animated works are either traditional 2-D or composite shots using 2-D images. Video editing skills, such as Premiere Prom would also likely be highly desirable.

Kilogramme Animation

Kilogramme Animation Studio is a production studio based in Tib St, Manchester city centre. From watching one of their showreels, as well as watching a number of their animations on their website, I have gathered that they mostly produce 2-D animation, although they have also produced a lot of 3-D animation. They produce a range of different animation work, a number of examples from their website include: technical works they’ve produced for companies, informative works produced for local and national organisations (Transport for Greater Manchester, London Fire Brigade, etc.), commercials they’ve produced for companies (Ben and Jerry’s, BBC1, etc.), and children’s shows and shorts they’ve worked on (CITV, BBC Bitesize, etc.). A unique aspect of their company is how their employees are able to produce personal work, which get uploaded and spread via the company website. The audience for their content varies depending on the project, although they have categorised much of their work for the sake of organising it on their website, and from these I can draw some conclusions about their audience. Many of their works have to target general audiences, such as informative pieces and adverts, although they mostly seem to produce these with adults in mind. As mentioned earlier, many of their works are produced for children. I’ve been able to connect with Jon Turner, the creative director at Kilogramme, over LinkedIn. The skills I would most likely need when hoping to work for this company include being able to use 2-D and 3-D animation programs, such as Toon Boom and Maya. However, examining they  broad range of their work, I’ve noticed that a lot of their work involves either motion graphics-style animation or animation that appears as if it were made using Adobe After Effects, so I thinking that learning the basics of this program will be helpful to me as well. Given the volume of work on their website that consists of short, animated loops, I thinking creating a portfolio filled with short looping animations can help bolster said portfolio immensely.

Seed Animation

Moving beyond local studios, I have also looked into studios outside of Manchester but still within the U.K. for potential. Seed Animation Studio is a London-based studio located on Brewer St, Soho. Watching their showreels, as well as an assortment of other works, I’ve found that they’ve worked on a number of different projects, from adverts to studio films and online campaigns, using an array of techniques such as: 2-D, 3-D, Mixed media involving mixing live action with animation, as well as 2-D/3-D hybrid works. One aspect of their work I think is  unique is their chain animations, when the staff each creates a few second looped animation, which can then be stitched together into a larger animation conveying a particular theme or message. They’ve produced work for companies and organisations such as Gas Networks Ireland, NHS, Island Records, etc. While their audience varies depending on their projects a lot of their work, particularly their chain animations and in-house briefs, tackle subject matter that would generally draw young adult and teenage audiences, although much of their work for companies plays to more general audiences. I’ve found one potential contact over LinkedIn, Morgan Powle, a co-founder and creative director at Seed Animation. I could also contact staff members who I spoke with in the past, when I participated in the studio’s Tales from Lockdown brief. I think the skills I would need to work for this company comprise of 2-D and 3-D animation skills, with Toon Boom, Maya, Adobe Illustrator and After Effects being of particular interest. I think that given the amount of chain animations their company produces, I think creating a collection of short, looping animations will help me immensely if I were to include them in my portfolio.

Aardman Animations

Aardman Animations is an animation studio based in Bristol, which is renowned for creating well-known works such as the Wallace and Gromit franchise, Morph, Creature Comforts, as well as movies such as Chicken Run (2000), The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists! (2012), Early Man (2018), etc. Their works are well known for being stop-motion animations that have a particular style to them, with the clay figures having a common style to them, particularly the eyes and mouths. In recent years, they have also gained recognition for producing a greater variety of animated works, working with other studios, teams outside of the company, and other people to create a variety of works, such as 2-D animations. Their audiences vary depending on the project, but they often aim for general audiences, making content appropriate for younger audiences while having clever and inventive writing that can hold the attention of older audiences. One potential connection I found on LinkedIn is Gavin Strange, a director and designer at Aardman. Given their greater use of 2-D and 3-D animation, I feel a good way to boost my portfolio for Aardman would be to focus on developing those skills, as well as possibly improving my stop-motion skills too. Animation tests utilising these skillsets would likely be best for my portfolio.

Rareware

Looking beyond the animation industry, there are many different corners of the entertainment industry as a whole that incorporate animation into their output, with animation playing a particularly large role in the video game industry. One such company of particular note is Rare. Rare Limited, also known as Rareware, is a video game company based in Twycross, Leicestershire. They are famous for having created beloved games such as the Donkey Kong Country series, Conker’s Bad Fur Day (2001), the Banjo-Kazooie series, the Perfect Dark series, and others. In recent times, Rare has produced Sea of Thieves (2018) as well as Battletoads (2020). Ever since they began using 2-D renders of 3-D models for the character/environment sprites in Donkey Kong Country (1994) they have focused on implementing 3-D into their games, before it became standard practice to create fully 3-D games, although they have continued to produce 2-D design work for their games, with their recent Battletoads remake being full 2-D animation. The games produced by Rareware have often targeted younger audiences, including their Donkey Kong and Banjo-Kazooie games, while some of their games, such as Conker’s Bad Fur Day, Perfect Dark, Sea of Thieves etc., have appealed more to teenage and adult audiences. When it comes to finding contacts, I managed to find one on LinkedIn, Louise O’Connor, an executive producer at Rare who’s open to talking over e-mail about hiring people to work on Everwild, a game currently in development at Rare,  as well as discussing the environment and culture of the studio. Their hiring page mentions many of the positions currently open at the studio, and the skills expected from someone applying to these jobs. This involves learning how to work with animation and code, which is a skill I would need to develop if I wanted to fulfil certain jobs within their animation department. They’re also calling for art designers, which encompasses 2-D design too. I think that if I wanted to focus on applying for a job here, I would be best focusing my portfolio work on character animation and art design work.

[lucyreviewcy]

Everything I Watched This Saturday

Weekends are usually busy for me. However, this weekend half of England is snowed in, making saturday the perfect opportunity for some serious TV catchup.

I try and vary what I watch. Some shows really lend themselves to binge watching because they have cliffhangers at every episode (White Collar), some really great will-they-won’t-they action (Gilmore Girls) or sometimes just a really comfortable vibe (Lewis). However, I find that if I binge I get into the rhythm of the show, and stop enjoying it when I can predict exactly when the twist will happen (my brother once figured out that House MD figures out the diagnosis about 37 minutes into every episode.) By changing up what I watch, even when I want to spend a whole day getting some good quality screen time, I enjoy each individual show much more.

This weekend, I watched:

Lewis - S01, E03 “Old School Ties”

I’ve loved Lewis since the show started (which, fun fact, was before the UK smoking ban - hence Laurence Fox lighting up so often in the office.) While Morse unfortunately reminds me of stuffy Sunday afternoons when there was literally nothing else on, Lewis is a show I love to make time for. Kevin Whately and Laurence fox have great chemistry, and the titular inspector’s continued exaspiration with Oxfords academic wankery makes for excellent one-liners.

In this episode, while protecting ex-hacker turned celebrity criminal (and professional geordie - much to Lewis’ chagrin) Nicky Turnbull, Lewis investigates the murder of a young woman at the hotel where Turnbull is staying. I had seen this episode before but despite remembering entire lines of dialogue and plot points, the perpatrator had actually slipped my mind.

This episode doesn’t have the most satisfying reveal of all time, but it gripped me even though this was probably my fourth viewing. Lewis is, in general, fairly easy to follow even if you’re doing fairly complicated knitting while watching.

Overall, the contrast between Hathaway’s aloof synicism and Lewis’ genuine interest in people makes excellent television. The moment at the end with the two sharing headphones makes this one a winner for me.

White Collar - S04, E08 “Identity Crisis”

Watching White Collar directly after Lewis makes for an interesting experience. The shows are very similar. As they are both police procedurals, they share a penchant for unexpected twists and shots of two men in suits approaching a third person and flashing a badge. That’s all fairly run of the mill stuff, but the way that the characters interact is also very similar. While Neal Caffrey is an ex-thief helping Agent Burke investigate thieves, Hathaway is an intellectual Oxbridge graduate helping Lewis investigate intellectual Oxbridge graduates. Both Burke and Lewis have similarly eye-rolling reactions to their partners, creating a certain symmetry between the two shows.

This episode of White Collar was a break from the normal format, with Mozzie leading the team on an investigation into a group of spies - from revolutionary America.

I am always nervous when shows break from their routines, because the results can be hit and miss. Doctor Who has episodes like “Heaven Sent” - a solo performance from Peter Capaldi that is incredible, and then other episodes like “Love & Monsters” which is a crock of shit. However, with “Identity Crisis”, White Collar lands a winner. There are scrapes, japes and character development, as well as mysterious twists. Mozzie is an excellent character, and episodes where he takes centre stage are great fun.

Episodes - S02 E09 “Episode 9”

A nice coincidence from my TV adventures today is that the White Collar episode I watched also featured Mircea Monroe, who plays Morning in Episodes.

This sitcom is always great fun and this series denoument is no exception. This farcical end to a series packed full of dating drama and secret affars was full of awkward silences, forced smiles and Matt LeBlanc being a comical dickhead. His performance in this show has really put the Top Gear host into my good books, as he’s clearly not afraid to take the piss out of himself. A highlight of this episode is a black-tie brawl featuring pretty much every character. Steven Mangan’s “Wallace and Gromit” smile is also a memorable moment.

Nigel Slater’s Middle East E03 “Iran”

Completely switching gears here to my favourite TV chef of all time. Nigel Slater has long been a source of comfort to me when I’m feeling stressed. He has an incredible ability to make all food sound appealing, just by pausing in a sentence, nodding affirmatvely at the camera and saying “and it’s incredible.”

While yes, he has on occasion seemed to live in a dreamworld where people have whole parmesan rinds at the back of the fridge, and half a roast chicken “lying around”, Nigel Slater makes programmes that are deeply relaxing. Considering that the Middle East isn’t an area that a lot of people would consider “relaxing”, this show is a really fresh represetnation of part of the world that I had previously associated only with conflict.

In this episode, the final one of the series, Nigel eats sheep brains, catches pomegranates and has dinner at his taxi driver’s house. While I’m sure there’s a lot of work done by editing and producers and translators, I loved this series because the reactions that my best TV friend Nigel has to all the food he tries seem genuine. His passion for food and flavour are boundless and this show is a wonderful expression of that.

Victoria S01 E08 “Young England”

Look, I started watching this show because I like Jenna Coleman and I missed Clara Oswald. I didn’t expect to enjoy it as much as I did. This episode especially showcased Victoria’s ability to make history seem dramatic and compelling. Victoria’s pregnancy has reached the “deep discomfort all day every day” stage, and having recently watched a friend go through this stage, I felt like Coleman conveyed this perfectly. I had an overwhelming urge to buy her a McDonalds with extra fries, just to make her feel better.

I had no idea that there had been an attempt on Queen Victoria’s life during her first pregnancy, and I found this episode genuinely shocking. I also found myself crying at random intervals, potentially because I felt so much sympathy for poor pregnant Victoria, who just wants to take a ride in her damn carriage.

This show is excellent and I was gutted to realise that Netflix only has the first season, I can’t wait to find out what happens next!

Top Gear - S25 E01

Having warmed so much to Matt LeBlanc through my viewing of Episodes, I thought I’d give the new Top Gear a go. I hadn’t watched this show since the ill-fated Chris Evans series, and was interested to see how it was faring.

The answer was “eh, it’s alright.”

I must confess that I don’t think I’m quite interested in cars enough to fully enjoy Top Gear in it’s current format. While the specials that the “old guard” of Hammond, May and Clarkson used to make me roar with laughter - I was never fully invested in the show even at it’s peak of popularity.

That being said, there were a few moments in this episode that I thoroughly enjoyed - mainly discovering that figure of 8 chain car racing is apparently a thing. This is possibly one of the most American extreme sports events I have ever heard of, and that section of the programme is genuinely fun to watch.

Overall, yeah - Top Gear’s about cars. I don’t have a car. I used to have a car, but even then I wasn’t that interested in other cars. Unless they were coming towards me. At speed.

iZombie - S04 E01 “Are You Ready for Some Zombies?”

If you want me to take your new season opener seriously don’t give it a title that can be sung to the tune of “Do you wanna build a snowman?”

iZombie is a show I have really enjoyed in the past, but I feel as if it may have escalated beyond its own format. What used to be a fun and twisted police procedural now has too many other strands to cope with. Rather than watching Liv and Clive solve a crime, we have to see this story spliced into small spaces alongside Ravi, Major, Peyton and Blaine’s plot development. Once the zombie world was revealed, the show became messier and less interesting.

In my opinion, this episode was not the most enticing series opener. While I loved seasons 1 and 2, it’s become too hard to keep track of who is and isn’t a zombie, and all their individual emotions about this. The show has always been like a fun, undead version of Veronica Mars, but Veronica Mars wouldn’t have been as good if at the end of one season she’d been involved in “Private Detective High” where everyone else was a private detective. I think this is where iZombie has lost it’s magic for me.

I’ll keep watching but the show won’t be as exciting as it once was.

So there you have it, that’s what I watched this weekend! If you’re trapped in a binge-watching cycle (it happens to all of us, there’s a reason I am only allowed to watch Gilmore Girls on Thursdays), I hope the above inspires you to curate a complicated menu of shows next time you’re having a duvet day!

[alexanderessexmediaroles]

Day 1 - Media Roles - The Nitty Gritty Research

For the first bit of research at ‘Media Roles’ in animation, I thought it would be useful to look at the companies that I was most interested in which hopefully would help me understand which role under that type of animation I would like to research and explore in. In regards to the group work, I feel this part of the research process is useful for not only knowing what I would like to talk about in the presentation but also find linkage with the other group member's topics to share a common theme for the project. For the companies, I’ve looked at and researched CG and Stop-Motion animation as well as a tiny bit of 2D but mainly in those two mediums as I plan to continue on with these two mediums in the future as potential fields. However, I’m still open to the idea of 2D regardless.

LAIKA - Oregon, The United States of America 

About and Thoughts - Laika is an American based Stop-motion company that also uses CG animation to enhance the effects of stop motion like using green screens to create the backgrounds in their films. They are most well-known for ‘Coraline’ and ‘Kubo and the Two Strings’ as well as working on the animation for the ‘Corpse Bride’ by Tim Burton. I was mainly interested in the company through their large dedication to Stop-motion as it’s always been a big passion of mine whether that be making the puppets or actually animating the puppets themselves which may be due to the practical nature of it. This links into the types of roles that are considered at the company as well as the techniques they use to animate their films and contract work as for something like puppet-making, it’s split into multiple different parts at Laika like Costume Fabricator and Armature Maker. In addition to this, the techniques used at Laika are openly shared through Youtube videos and also in production diaries, they release when working on their films like how they created and animated the giant skeleton guardian from ‘Kubo and the Two Strings’ as it both involved the Model, Armature makers and also the riggers to create the puppet in pre-production as well as the actual animator animating the sequence in production.

Job Roles of Intrest:  

Model Maker - (Pre-Production)

Armature Maker/ Puppet Maker - (Pre-Production)

Stop-Motion Animator  - (Production)  

Stop-Motion Rigger - (Pre-Production)

CG Animator - (Both Production and Post Production)  

Costumer Fabricator - (Pre-Production)

Closing Thoughts - Based from the roles and the company itself, I would feel confident and satisfied covering it for the project as I mentioned before, stop-motion has always been a passion for me to do and would be fantastic if I could do some primary research through emailing them as well as reading upon some of their art books particularly ‘Coraline: A Visual Companion’ as it goes through the steps to how the film was made in the first place.

https://www.laika.com/careers

Rooster Teeth - Texas, The United States of America

About and Thoughts - Rooster Teeth is both a digital 2D and CG animation-based company in Texas, USA and is one of the more niche companies I chose to look into due to not being as big to something like Laika or Pixar. They tend to specialise in series and short productions due to being a web-based company and due to how small they are compared to the larger companies. However, despite this, I’m really invested in their work and was my first gateway to CG animation as a whole through their projects. Their most notable work being ‘Red vs Blue’, ‘RWBY’ and ‘Camp Camp’. ‘RWBY’ is a show that I would want to look into more to how they animate and produce the show not only because I’m a fan of the show, but also because I also plan to pursue with 3D animation and feel it would be a great starting point to learn about how they work and create the show. Plus since it’s such a small company, I might get a quicker response to any questions I want to ask compared to the bigger studios I’m also looking at for this project. Also like Laika, they also do updates on the production of their shows through production dairies as well as podcasts.

Job Roles of Intrest -  

Art Director - (All stages of Production)

Editor/Assitant Editor (All stages of Production)

3D/CG Animator  (Production and Post)

3D Rigger (Pre-Production)

3D Modeller (Pre-Production)

Lighting Artist and Shader (Post-production) 

Closing Thoughts - Like Laika, this would be a company I would love to continue researching (Which I guess you could say all the companies I’ve looked at today) on to see how they properly work which I do plan to send an email since it’s such a small company that’s come from a long way. Also apart from the updates to their production diaries and podcasts, there isn’t too much info for the different roles which is why I’m hoping email will give me more knowledge for the project. 

https://jobs.lever.co/roosterteeth

https://roosterteeth.com/contact

Aardman - Bristol, United Kingdom 

About and Thoughts - Aardman is similar to Laika as it’s also primarily a Stop-motion based company but is based in Bristol in the UK and now doesn't just do Stop-motion projects. Instead, they cover all the different mediums in animation through features, series and shorts that they make both for themselves and for contract work. Some of their most notable work are the ‘Wallace and Gromit’ shorts and features as well as the ‘Shaun the Sheep’ shorts and features. Compared to the last two companies I’ve looked at, Aardman would be really flexible if I was to look at a certain role that could be applied across all of the mediums depending on what theme we set as a group. However, with Aardman, I’m definitely most interested in the stop-motion aspect of the company how everything clicks together. It’s a bit tricky to find information specific to how the company operates with its media roles but based on my research from Laika and Rooster Teeth, they have the same or similar roles to each other especially now that Aardman is such a larger company than before.

Job Roles of Intrest:   

Editor/Assitant Editor (All stages of Production)

Model Maker - (Pre-Production)

Armature Maker - (Pre-Production)

Stop-Motion Animator  - (Production)

Stop-Motion Rigger - (Pre-Production)

CG Animator - (Both Production and Post Production)  

Closing Thoughts:  As I’ve mentioned before, Aardman is very similar to Laika but it has a lot more opportunity to what you can do there which would be interesting to see how I might incorporate it with my group’s ideas but I feel as I might invest more time into Laika’s stop-motion practises as I think I prefer their style compared to Aardman’s.

Passion Animation Studios - London, United Kingdom 

About and Thoughts - Passion Animation Studios (London, UK although operates in other countries like Paris, France) isn’t as known compared to the rest of the studios I’ve looked at but have done a lot of work to projects many people may have not realised they have been involved with such films and projects like ‘Isle of Dogs’ as the director ‘Mark Warning’ comes from the studio. Passion not only covers stop-motion animation within the company as they also specialise in 2D and 3D animation due to being a video production company that is very flexible in the industry meaning they can accommodate multiple different production roles for that medium.

Job Roles of Intrest - Same as the previous Job Roles as mentioned in the other studios and companies

Closing Thoughts -  Passion Animation Studios would be interesting to look into for the multiple different types of animation that they cover at their studios as depending on what we come up as a group for the project, it would be another company like Aardman to look into if I was to look at all the production roles in animation than just the ones I would like for example directing as that can be applied to all the mediums.

PIXAR Animation Studios - Califonia, The United States of America

About and Thoughts - Pixar is a CG based animation company in California USA and is one of the most well known CG animation companies in the world mainly due to pioneering the actual medium to what it is today as well as creating some of the finest pieces of film. This includes the ‘Toy Story’ series, ‘The Incredibles’ and many more classics. Looking at the types of media roles available at Pixar, the video below explains in great detail the different types of people needed to create ‘Toy Story 4′ and how there are different types of animators, environment artists and pre-production roles like editors and storyboarders that all go into the process of CG animation. From this video, it’s given me a much better idea of the different types of roles that you can go into than only just being an animator. Roles like being a Colour Scripter was really interesting to me even though the production roles I’m most interested in are the most common roles in CG animation.

Job Roles of Intrest:   Same as Rooster Teeth’s job roles however with the addition to being a ‘Colour Scriptor’ - (Pre-Production)

Closing Thoughts: Researching Pixar was a really great choice for the CG side of animation for the project as being the company they are, it was really nice to have that kind of video available to watch as it really gave me a grasp to what the process and production is like in the studio. If I plan to research more into Pixar for CG animation, I feel with both it and Rooster Teeth will help me understand what kind of production role I would be most interested in researching about for the project as well as potentially being the role I would like to pursue with after uni.

How Pixar’s ‘Toy Story 4’ Was Animated | Movies Insider 

Pixar - Career Profile - https://www.animationcareerreview.com/articles/pixar-career-profile

How Does a Pixar Film Get Made? - https://slate.com/human-interest/2015/03/pixar-what-creative-departments-work-on-a-film.html

Overall from my research, I feel I have a much nicer grasp of which roles I would like to look into and talk about for the next lecture as well as what I would like to further pursue. However, I still feel conflicted to which animation type I would like to go into for the project and personally as I love equally both CG and Stop-Motion which boils down if I like to look into LAIKA or Rooster Teeth out of all the companies I’ve researched today. Because of this, tomorrow I want to look into both companies and get my thoughts on which company I would like to research more for the project regarding their roles. I would mention Disney but I feel like it would be more useful to look into these two companies tomorrow since I’ve done a fair bit of research on Disney already. On top of that, I will also need to consider what my other group members want to specilise in and see how we can have a group title/theme across them to help with our research. Lastly, for the companies I plan to look into even further, I want to write some emails to them so that I can get more info for a particular role or how that company exactly works in that animation medium (Stop-Motion or CG).

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

On a post where I talked about my nephew (and the difficulties with my brother)

runningbarefootthroughtheforest said: No ideas, just wanted to say Im glad your nephew has someone like you in his life, even if you are ‘banned’ from him. It sounds like you bring sunshine to his life, and even if thats a rare occurence it may make a world of difference to him <3

Thanks for being so kind. 

I wasn’t planning to really reply (thought I REALLY appreciated hearing that), but I was in a mood tonight. I got started writing, and now it’s 2am and I’ve got this endless rambling about my relationship with my brother no one in their right mind wants to hear about. Rather than erase all that typing (and venting) I’m just going to put it safely behind a click to continue....l

Being there for him used to be one of the ways I would make myself go to my brother’s when I knew what was in store for me there. (The other was to help my parents with that construction job building the extension to my brother’s house.) I had my nephew described as “lighting up like a Christmas tree” when I showed up and that he seemed so much more engaged when I was there. I dunno how much I credit that to me, but I did feel like it was worth enduring a heavy dose of verbal abuse. 

The thing is, it has been so long since I have been able to see him I expect he has forgotten me now. I got to see him for a minute over a year ago when took Mom half way to spend time recovering from her hospitalization at their house (I’ve mentioned our living conditions...). He didn’t show any signs of recognition anymore. Yesterday Mom called me while my sister-in-law was out (Mom won’t call me when they are around to avoid ranting) and I could hear my nephew talking to himself as he played, his voice like a little bird chirping. I realized that I have never actually heard him speak in person because he was a totally non-verbal then. I’m afraid as far as he is concerned I don’t exist.

I know people wonder why I was banned from my brother’s house. “what did you do?” Saying, well the first time I was told never to come back I played a Wallace and Gromit DVD. It was so baffling how me playing it in a room alone could get him shouting I was “the most selfish bitch alive” for my choice of DVD, but there you go.

A few months later I did start going back, but that time I tried to photograph my parents beside the house extension we were putting in, and my brother thought I wastaking a photo of him andmy nephew. He hates photos being taken and threatened to smash my camera, started with the insults, called me a coward when I went into the house to get away from him rather than fight, then mocked me when I came  back out rather than wake my napping sister-in-law. I started crying (trying soooo hard not to) and he lay into me for that. I always told my parents not to defend me since it would reinforce my brother’s peculiar “you love her more” narrative and it would make him more vicious, but it made me feel extra alone as he was attacking me, all in my face and snarling like he would get. I muttered “Sometimes I could just  kill you” which was NOT meant as a real threat at all, and he knew that very well. Still he announced I was to leave or he would call the police and he could say I threatened his life.

And that was that. At first My parents and I thought it would blow over. It didn’t. We thought holidays would be an exception. They weren’t. We thought when Pop got sick he would relax about it. Nope. So that’s been that.

The thing is, it shouldn’t be a surprise. For years he’d been saying he loved Mom, loved but also hated Pop, and just hated me. I think partly Pop and are were disappointments to him, like we should be whatever fantasy he had of what we should be and if only he could bully us right we’d change. Pop and I did tend to think alive, where Mom and my brother thought a bit more alike, the basic mental wiring. But it was a way of seeing us, Mom the one who sacrificed (like about getting a PhD) to join Pop here, Pop the person working so many ambitious projects (like the submarine or the journey round the world in the boat) that never actually were finished, and me the smart sister turned utter loser (and college drop out to his multiple degrees). I knew he hated me, and maybe he was right to at least have no respect for such a pathetic creature, but I somehow had managed to believe that down deep he loved me.

You know, when he was a teenager he pointed a loaded gun to my head saying he was going to kill me, and I was totally calm about it. Part of it was the adrenaline, but part of it was a trust that while he was emotionally freaking out and might accidentally kill me, he did not really want me dead. Would I be so fearless now when I no longer trust his love is in there somewhere waiting to be talked down? I dunno.

Now, for the record, my family was NOT physically or emotionally abusive. Heck, my parents never even spanked us. We were never grounded, given time outs or bullied. While my father would break things when really upset, he NEVER, EVER hurt anyone or threatened to hurt anyone. My parents were  confused how sibling rivalry and child defiance of a father could become so monsterous. They wondered what they did wrong. The thing is, it really wasn’t entirely some failing in out part.

Amazingly my brother was an incredibly sweet child. He constantly told us he loved us, gave us drawings he made and wrote “I love you” on, hugged us, kissed us, laughed and ...  He was exactly the opposite of what he is now.

I can track it, the step by step path that led to this point.

It begins at school. When he entered first grade to be precise.

In first grade my brother got good grades, despite my parents questioning whether he was having difficulty reading. The teacher would reassure them that he was doing just fine....and then he failed first grade. When my parents wanted to know what had happened, the teacher said my brother had seemed so smart she had assumed it would work out. **sigh**

So my parents did what you would expect. They started working with my brother. They had always read to us (and I read as long as can remember) but now they started using work books, flashcards, and anything else that they thought might help. To my brother this was like being punished while I was off doing other things, and how he felt about me began to change.

Now I get this bothering him. I was bothered too. I knew my brother needed help, but I also knew they were spending all this time with him but so little with me. No one helped me with my homework, because I didn’t need it. I was “fine”, I was always “fine”. Where as my brother as a toddler would try to run (and made it once!) across highway 64 with all it’s traffic, laughing as we chased him, toddler me (when I couldn’t find my father and grandfather who were working and supposed to be watching me...the place it big) decided to walk home and famously was spotted by people carefully crossing that crazy busy highway and walking back along the side of the road. I was seen as gaving good judgement, bright, blah, blapg. Stephanie is always “fine”. 

The difference is that while I saw the attention my brother got when no one even cared what I did in school, (they even let me sign my own papers because they were busy and knew I was doing fine...I HATE that word fine!) and was unhappy, I didn’t get angry at anyone. I understood, and other than a few bouts of grumpiness at my parents wishing that they would pay atrention to me a bit. But to my brother it was different. He was angry, and most of that anger settled on me because I was “fine”, a sort of feeling he had that I must be loved more since I wasn’t the one suffering.

Then it got worse.

His second grade teacher was horrible to him. She picked on him and bullied him continually. In front of the whole damn class she would called him stupid and mock him. He was NOT stupid! He was dyslexic!

My parents had to work to persuade then to have him tested. This was not even on the radar of out hick town school in the early 1980s. They had to bring someone in to test him, and when it proved the suspicions it proved no help at all. See, the teachers had never heard of such a thing, so to them “dyslexic” meant “stupid”.   They considered kids “normal”, “smart”, or “stupid” with no nuisance at all. And that damn teacher kept at it, more intently than ever.

Worse for my relationship to him, the teacher and her aide had another angle of attack. “He’s not smart like his sister!” Do you know how horrible that is, constantly comparing a kid to another kid? In first grade my tracher had started that, telling the class “Why can’t you all be like Stephanie?” “You should try to be smart like Stephanie” Do you know what that does? It does NOT make the kids you want to change change, instead they glare at that kid you are comparing them to with pure hate. And now the little brother that had loved me, was being bludgeoned with me as a weapon. 

He didn’t tell us any of this at the time. He was far too scared of her. It slipped out bit by bit over then next few years.

One day he hid to try to avoid going to class. I found him and talked to him, trying to be reassuring and comforting. You see, I was having an awful time in school, being bullied every day. I thought, three years older than him, I understood and I was being encouraging when I was saying if I could do it I knew he could. And then I told Pop where he was.

My brother still brings this up as a huge betrayal. It is one of the worst things I ever did to him, though I did it out of love and ignorance.

So it began. My brother’s resentment and hostility. A bubbling rage began to build. He started seeing as opposite, if something was tough for him he would insist it was easy for me. To this day he insists I was popular and happy in school! It’s nuts. Mom laughs at the thought. In that one year in kindergarden I went from so outgoing I spoke to anyone to so introverted I couldn’t make eye contact or order in a restaurant. I went from normal weight to the fattest kid in the class, for the first time in my life started wetting the bed, began to jump at the sounds like someone with PTSD, and would come home crying, begging my parents to tell me why everyone hated me. I was picked on for everything including my breathing! But he didn’t remember preschool me so he didn’t know I’d changed, and he was so lost in his own pain he couldn’t see mine.

And it went like this. Now I am NOT minimizing what he went through. While I had many teachers that openly delighted whenerever I made a mistake and, bafflingly, saw me as some sort of threat, clearly what he went through with that teacher was worse.

Let me be clear again, my brother was NOT stupid! He was one of the top five students by graduation, in college he studied chemistry where he was the only undergraduate working on a project, one a national prize, and after getting his degree went right back to get a degree in computer programming. He could very well be smarter than me!

But elementary and high school were hell. For both of us, to be honest, we just manifested it differently.

 I can only imagine the constant “she’s smart, you’re not” pressure he was under. I know even as an adult his default when upset was to call himself “Stupid!” “Idiot!” Or “Moron!” No matter how often my parents and I tried to tell him otherwise, he never believed us. He was constantly tense and chewed his fingers until they bled. And behind his eyes you could see the pain and rage. He got so he would not want anyone to see him show emotions, even taking his gifts at Christmas into his room to open. He got aggressive and growly, not just in a teen boy way. He would let anyone hug him anymore, not even Mom. We wanted to hug him, we knew he needed a hug, even wanted a hug, but if you tried he’d slug you and leave a bruise. 

With me his aggression just got worse. Violent, not just slugging. Not when our parents were around, of course. Then it was just verbal.  He was disgusted by me. I’d become withdrawn more, fatter, and, as I used to say, “terminally insecure”. Maybe he couldn’t stand my increasing loser status because if I was supposed to “better” than him according to the teachers, then how terrible must he be? He needed me to be better than Inwas, just as he always blamed our parents a bit for not saving him from that teacher, despite the fact they hadn’t known at the time what was going on.

One quick point: what happened to my brother inspired Pop to run for school board right after that. He thought it was the best way to help both my brother and others like him. I think the last straw was seeing that abusive teacher won “teacher of the year” the next year. When Pop asked why they said it was because they were all sorry for her  because just before the vote she has a baby that was born with a serious birth defect. Sympathy is one thing, but “teacher of the year” for a woman that tormented my brother and changed him so completely? In one year he went from loving me to hating me, smiling to scowling, not questioning his own intelligence to never believing in it! So Pop went to the school board, became chairman, and what to you know, the way they treated my brother turned around over night (though how he felt didn’t)! But what about other kids without elected parents?

Anyway, the school years were not happy. Add my brother’s tendency to hold grudges and to lash out when hurt to the target painted on my back by the big mouthed teachers and I became his verbal, and sometimes physical, punching bag. Our parents would be working and he would go into jerk mode. Locking himself in my room to trash it. Calling me the most hurtful things he could. There are still holes in my door from a sword. (Yes, sword. We have a few...) When he would start getting rough I’d pin him, because though we did eventually end up the same height, I was bigger than him. He was skinny and I was just plain stronger. But once restrained, then what? In his rages he would snarl he would hit me when I let go, and eventually I’d have to. My dilemma was I was the big sister, the one that had always tried to protect him and never wanted to hurt him. When I was about 8 I got a blood vessel in my eye busted fighting a bully that was picking on him. I couldn’t hurt him, but when I’d let go he’d keep his promise. As my parents and I would say, he would never pull a punch.

Now my parents would try to get him to stop being such a jerk to me, but it only ever made him meaner. If they were defending me, he semed to think, that must prove they loved me more. They were working and we were on our own, but together out here on the farm, much of the time. Oddly being unsupervised had worked out great when we were little, but as we got older and the relationship got worse it was not great at all.

It’s so weird, looking at old photos. All those happy ones when were little. There isn’t a photo of me NOT smiling until I started school, and there isn’t one where he isn’t smiling and usually hugging me until that year with the teacher. Like OMG! He honestly seemed a different person. By our teenage years there are almost no photos of me smiling, and the few that show my brother smiling are rather threatening. 

We did have one powerful bonding moment one day. We just started talking, just spilling out all the horrible things and bullying we went through at school, that hell hole. We ended up sobbing and just holding each other. It was so intense I actually believed it was a breakthrough, a turning point out of the darkness. Nope. I made that mistake many times over the years.

And yeah, the gun incident happened. I survived, and between that and another incident when he nearly shot trespassers (that had permission we didn’t know about) when scared, I let my folks know I didn’t think he should be around them anymore. It was atypical for the family so it was startling, but his judgement worried me. 

But then came what was the worst turning point for many years. I dropped out of college. It would take a while to explain, but it would make me the sole non-college in the family and the source of shame. It was unforgivable sin. While my brother had given up physical violence (and never hit me again) the verbal abuse got ....unrelenting. How bad did it get? When he would drive home I would hear the car and feel a full on hyperventilate “run away!” panic attack. He’d come home from college and I’d shake at the sound of his voice. I won’t list all the things he said, but it boiled down to my worthlessness.

That said, he still would seem to love and want my company. He asked me to go on trips, like to Germany and Montreal, and despite the fact I would always swear never to travel with him again afterwards. He gave gifts that showed thought, cards, and moments of sweetness would slip out.

Still, I began to notice something else. When things were good, he was wonderful, but when things were stressful he’d get mean. 

Believe it or not, there were a few years I got my hopes up that hehad outgrown it, or worked past it or let go of that childhood rage or...something. He was great, no longer tormenting me. The only teasing was affectionate, without the cruelty. He did little kindnesses, joked, showed concern, and smiled. It was like having the little brother that had been so close to me back. Even at his wedding the two of us kept giggling uncontrollably every time we looked at each other. 

It didn’t last. It took a few years, but it started building up all over again. I expect it was the stress he was feeling with a new marriage to someone with rather set ways ,interpersonal conflict on the job, a new house he’d bought, eventually fatherhood, and the initial denial anything was wrong with the nephew followed by the difficult reality. Then there was the fact that had set in that I was no longer the fattest in the family, but he was...something else to hold against me. 

So the point is, by the time he had a lot of things eating at him. He was having health problems I worried were stress related, that certainly didn’t help his mood. And there I was, unmarried, no kid, only working with Pop not a “real” job as far as he was concerned (HA!), none of the things weighing on him. Clearly, he would assume, my life must be better. That ignores my lived reality, but he always has ignored my point of view. As far as he was concerned I’d somehow cheated. And if my parents let me get away with it, well then, they must love me more.

So he promises to make my newborn nephew hate me. He picks on my continually. When I have a breathing attack and my heart goes nuts, he says to film it if I’m dying so he can watch it over and over laughing. He refuses to help us more than five minutes on the house extension, shouting “I can’t work with you people!!” And on and on. So why did I not see this final break coming? 

He isn’t happy. Even hearing about him through Mom I can tell that. I wish I could help him, but I never could. 

What’s strange is the fact I didn’t feel relieved by the break. Not seeing him meant sparing myself the weekly emotional rollar coaster, the walking on eggshells waiting for the moment he’s have a go at me. Instead I fell apart. I used to never cry, but I started then. I’d have meltdowns over it, thinking my life had hit the lowest it could get...the loss of my brother and nephew.

Of course, Pop started getting sick almost exactly then, and six months later he was diagnosed. It’s all been down hill from there! So I guess when you think you’ve hit rock bottom it might just be a bounce along the rock face as you keep plummeting.

My brother is still furious at me, and honestly I would  apologize whether I feel I did anything wrong or not if I thought it would do any good. But I know him. If I apologize he would take it as proof he was right. He doesn’t do forgiveness, more like gloating and justification for further jerk behavior. I’m not even exactly sure what he would want me to apologize for.

I’ve tried asking Mom for advice, but he baffles her and she says there is nothing I can do. Pop couldn’t help when he was alive either, not only because he didn’t understand it but he was enduring his own continual insults from my brother. I watched Pop sit there sobbing after a phone call with my brother, while Pop was sick but not diagnosed. That makes me angrier than any of the things my brother ever did to me. Apparently, to this day my brother is angry at Pop for not finishing the extension. Well he died damn it!

 The point is, all these experts that lecture how you must go to any length to have a good relationship with your siblings, tell me how the hell I can fix this. All those years of putting up with it, trying to make peace, trying to talk, reflexively saying I was sorry, occasionally arguing back intently and generally enduring sure didn’t help........